Tag Archives: basement

Episode 512: Everybody Rise

Gordon Russell, June 1968, , , , , , ,

“I am prepared to convene a jury of the dead in this room!”

He meant well, is the thing that you have to remember. There’s an evil witch who’s living at Collinwood these days, and she’s making life complicated for everybody, so Professor Stokes thought, hey, we’ve got a witch, why not raise the spirit of a bad-tempered 18th-century witch hunter?

Stokes learned that Reverend Trask was buried alive behind a brick wall in the basement of the Old House, so he figured, let’s wake Trask up, point him in the direction of Angelique, and then just let nature take its course. Stokes is something of a lateral thinker.

So, yeah. It’s not one of the top ten plans. But at least it doesn’t involve terrorizing a young child, so for Dark Shadows, it’s actually not that bad. You have to grade these things on a curve.

Continue reading Episode 512: Everybody Rise →

Episode 511: Séance Fiction

June 1968, Sam Hall, , , , , , , , , ,

“Look, I’m not carrying anybody’s will but my own, and I’ll prove that to you!”

A summer crush is always fun, isn’t it? As we’ve been heading into June 1968, I’ve talked about nothing but Professor Timothy Stokes, occult expert and storyline accelerator. Over the last week, Stokes has taken the lead in five straight episodes — completely taking over the Dream Curse storyline, and sticking his nose into the Adam plot as well — and he’s done it using the sheer power of being smarter and more interesting than anyone else. He’s clearly a Dark Shadows star in the making.

But sadly, this is actually his peak moment for a long time. After one more episode later this week, Stokes is going to fade back into the chorus for a while. He has a little run of episodes in mid-July, and another in October, and besides that, he just pops up periodically over the next year. He doesn’t make it into the top tier of essential characters like Barnabas, Julia, Angelique and Quentin, who must have a major role in every storyline. So what happened?

Continue reading Episode 511: Séance Fiction →

Episode 447: My Family, and Other Crazed Animals

Gordon Russell, March 1968, , , ,

“I told you I killed her. I never said she was dead.”

Okay. It’s Tuesday, we’re still in the basement, Barnabas is still talking to his dad, and we’re not getting out of here until somebody shoots somebody.

Joshua Collins has descended into the underworld — also known as the cellar in the Old House — where he’s found his dead son climbing out of a coffin. As you might imagine, the discussion has become somewhat complex.

Here’s where they left off: Barnabas has finally confessed that he’s a vampire, and he feeds on human blood. Horrified, Joshua raises his pistol, and says, “Forgive me. Forgive me, dear son.”

And then: Ka-CHOW! Joshua shoots his son, right in the chest.

Barnabas clutches at the entry wound — and then straightens up, unharmed. He walks over to his father, and says, “Don’t you understand? What I’ve been trying to tell you all along is that I am already dead.”

It’s kind of a dream situation, if you’ve ever had a long argument with your parents. I mean, who wouldn’t take a bullet, just for the satisfaction of delivering the ultimate “I told you so”?

Continue reading Episode 447: My Family, and Other Crazed Animals →

Episode 446: The Son Also Rises

March 1968, Sam Hall, , , ,

“You must have always had so much hatred in you. No one could be filled with it so quickly.”

Friday’s episode ended with stern patriarch Joshua Collins descending into the basement of the abandoned Old House, poking into the buried secrets that should never be poked into. As usual in these kinds of situations, he arrives at the bottom step just exactly in time to see the mystery box open, unleashing a dark and primal terror that destroys everything in its line of sight.

Judging by past performance, this means that Joshua’s about to be killed. Dark secrets are a powerful story engine, because there’s lots of associated activity — mostly inventing, refuting and refining alibis and cover stories. That fills up time, and fools the audience into thinking that they’re getting somewhere. If you let characters actually discover the truth, then after a while you need to hire a writer who can come up with something else for them to talk about, and that runs into money.

So Dark Shadows has settled into a gentle rut over the last six weeks, essentially funnelling a single-file line of cast members down these stairs, to their immediate and lasting disadvantage. Joshua is just the latest patsy in the popular game of Let’s Kill the Collins Family.

Continue reading Episode 446: The Son Also Rises →

Episode 442: Cask Party

March 1968, Ron Sproat, , , , ,

“Death is a valid reason.”

TRUE! — nervous — very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? Writing about Dark Shadows every day has sharpened my senses — not destroyed — not dulled them. How, then, am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily — how calmly I can tell you the whole story.

Well, not the whole story. There’s, like, 800 more episodes; we’d be here all night. But let’s see if we can focus on the next twenty-two minutes.

Continue reading Episode 442: Cask Party →

Episode 432: The Age of Kaiju

February 1968, Sam Hall, , ,

“Why does the Devil always want to touch you?”

Yesterday, Barnabas moved back into his parents’ basement, which is a shame, because the last thing we need around here is a slacker vampire.

We’ve traveled all the way back in time to 1795, so we could witness the vampire’s backstory and give the writers some new storyline options. But now Barnabas’ girlfriend is dead in a fairly comprehensive way, and his new afterlife plan is to hide out in the cellar and hope that nobody walks downstairs.

At this point, the show needs to come up with something new. We’ve just spent three months investigating Barnabas’ past. What’s his future going to be?

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Episode 431: The Catcher in the Rye

February 1968, Sam Hall, , ,

“What have I to look forward to, if the sight of me fills anyone that I love with terror?”

Okay, it’s Monday, and time for another Dark Shadows course-correction.

Three months ago, the DS writers were faced with a huge story problem: The new vampire character was an enormous hit, but that storyline was clearly heading towards a conclusion, with nothing left to do but expose and destroy the vampire. Then, in an unbelievable example of inspiration fueled by desperation, they sent Vicki back in time to 1795, letting the audience witness the vampire’s secret-origin backstory.

And now we’ve completed that three-month mission. We know the whole story of Barnabas’ curse, and how little Sarah died, and why Josette threw herself off a cliff. On Friday, Barnabas tried to call Josette back from the grave, until he found out that she doesn’t really look super appealing post-cliff-dive, which pretty much puts a period at the end of that sentence.

Unfortunately, that means that the writers are back where they started, as far as a Barnabas storyline is concerned. He’s a lonely vampire again, and Josette — his only reason for existing — is lost to him forever. So then what?

Continue reading Episode 431: The Catcher in the Rye →

Episode 350: Grumpy Old Man

October 1967, Ron Sproat, , , , , , , ,

“That’s the first time you’ve ever called me by that name.”

Not very much previously, on Dark Shadows: Two days ago, David gave Carolyn the antique toy soldier, which he said would protect her. Then she was visited by the spirit of Sarah Collins, and she realized that the wild stories David’s been telling might actually be true. There, that’s your background on Carolyn’s character arc for the week — steadily building an awareness that David’s “fantasies” might be real.

So it’s a bit disappointing when David walks into the drawing room at the top of today’s episode, and hands Carolyn the toy soldier again.

David:  I came to bring you this.

Carolyn:  A toy soldier?

David:  Yes. You should have it with you all the time.

Carolyn:  Why?

Yeah, good question. I have several “why” questions of my own, starting with: Why doesn’t David climb up on a chair and smack her upside the head?

Continue reading Episode 350: Grumpy Old Man →

Episode 347: Mad Science

Joe Caldwell, October 1967, , , , , , , , ,

“Did you ever try to find the exact center of a piece of fine crystal?”

The doctor is advising prudence. She asks the patient, “Are you sure you want it this way?”

“I am through arguing the point,” he sniffs. “The treatments must be accelerated without further comment.”

She reminds him that she will not accept responsibility for the consequences.

“If we don’t hurry,” the patient says, “it will soon be morning. Now, begin the treatment.”

And then she fastens the straps on his electric chair.

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Episode 332: Safe? Safe!

October 1967, Ron Sproat, , , , , , ,

“The point is that I am in danger!”

It’s another relaxing evening at the Old House, and Julia tells Barnabas that she has another treatment ready for him. She’s trying to discover a cure for his vampirism, which would be hard enough even if she had a fully compliant patient. But Barnabas is feeling cranky, and when he’s cranky, he tends to get a little strangly.

Here’s his problem: young David is convinced that there’s something spooky hidden in the Old House, and a couple episodes ago, Julia caught the boy tugging on the locked basement door. She didn’t tell Barnabas about the encounter, because she knew he would freak out about it.

Yesterday, Roger mentioned the incident to Barnabas, and guess what? He’s freaking out about it.

Continue reading Episode 332: Safe? Safe! →