“When one is on a rollercoaster, one prays for it to end. But then the coaster stops, and one gets off and suddenly the world seems duller and sadder somehow.”
Dark Shadows, an ABC-TV daytime soap opera best known for making the world a stranger and more beautiful place, passed away on Friday, April 2nd, 1971, at the age of two hundred and forty-nine weeks. It was survived by a comic strip, a comic book and a paperback novel series.
The 4:00pm timeslot was bequeathed to the game show Password from April to September 1971, and then to the comedy anthology series Love, American Style until May 1974.
For a year and a half, the timeslot returned to game shows: The $10,000 Pyramid from May to December 1974, The Money Maze until July 1975, and You Don’t Say! until December 1975.
In December ’75, ABC picked up the soap opera The Edge of Night, which had recently been cancelled by CBS. Edge of Night aired at 4:00pm until December 1984. After that, ABC rescinded the timeslot to local stations, for local and syndicated programming.
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard left Collinsport to run the Tanz Dance Akademie, a prestigious German dance school. After killing several students with dogs and razor wire, she died, along with her coven, in a terrible fire.
Hallie Stokes got a full scholarship to Huntington College, where she joined the campus counterculture and got engaged to a hippie artist named Klutch, to get revenge on her manipulative father. She married Kurt Russell and was on Gunsmoke a bunch of times.
After leaving Windcliff Sanitarium, Joe Haskell moved to Michigan, where he became a concert pianist and a newspaper editor, and married at least four women. After another divorce, he went to New York, where he helped his ex-boyfriend recover from the loss of his lover.
Professor Timothy Eliot Stokes became a boxing promoter, and set up the greatest exhibition of guts and stamina in the history of the ring. He was also the director of a secret government agency, where he became an albino ex-Nazi kept alive by blood transfusions. At the end of his life, Stokes became a famous detective, although nobody heard about it until a year after his death.
Sentenced to be executed for witchcraft, attorney Peter Bradford was granted amnesty by the governor and allowed to return to private life, under an alias.
Roger Collins moved to Pine Valley, where he attempted to con a rich woman out of her money by pretending to be a distinguished university professor. The pair fell in love, and stayed together for almost two decades, on and off.
Sue Agatha, the three thousand year old poisonous Egyptian lizard, is now the Director of Herpetology at the Lincoln Park Zoo.
Dr. Julia Hoffman found her happy end as the leader of a gang of Chicago criminals.
Zombie Jeremiah Collins has a late-night call-in radio show, where he continues to advise lovelorn women looking for a new start.
Daphne Harridge dropped out of sight after leaving Collinwood. Nobody knows what became of her.
Willie Loomis spent some unsettling time in a Belgian hotel, murdering people and having violent sex. He later found happiness as the husband of a New York City police officer, and won an Emmy Award.
Carrie Stokes used her psychic powers to help mutantkind, joining a group of costumed vigilantes. However, the influence of her mother, Parallel Laura Stockbridge Stokes, caused her to lose control of her powers, and she became the physical manifestation of the cosmic Phoenix Force. She has died and come back to life countless times, as per.
Reverend Humphrey Bogart became a successful businessman, a rich playboy and the owner of a restaurant. He worked as a chef on the Love Boat, and married a maid from a Vermont hotel.
Amanda Harris fell off a bridge and into a chorus line, where she returned to the land of the living, and was given the chance to come through.
Since leaving Collinsport, Gerard Stiles has lived in Houston, Woodbridge, Genoa City, Sunset Beach, Los Angeles and Washington, D.C.
Amy Jennings was taken to the de-juicing room.
Angelique Bouchard was chased across country by a gang of Satan worshippers.
Quentin Collins became a successful businessman in the Napa Valley, running a newspaper and a winery and I forget what else.
Maggie Evans just never stopped being Maggie Evans, somehow.
Phyllis Wick, Joshua the cat, Claude North and Dr. Julian Hoffman are still completing their work, gathering up the 58 lost children. They’re up to 47 so far, and they’ve got some new leads.
And finally, Osiris, god of fertility, agriculture and the afterlife, he who is permanently benign and youthful, shed his mortal body of Barnabas Collins, and returned to his place in the Egyptian pantheon, as we always knew that he would.
Tomorrow: The Dark Shadows Parts.
Dark Shadows bloopers to watch out for:
When the scene shifts to Daphne’s funeral, the wrong music cue plays for a moment, then quickly fades.
Daphne’s funeral should be during the day, and afterwards they talk about it being the afternoon, but the lighting in the funeral scene appears to indicate it’s nighttime, and it’s dark when the family enters Collinwood after the funeral.
The clock says 4:00 when Kendrick thinks, “Three more hours till darkness, and then I will break the curse!” One act later, Kendrick says, “Five-thirty, one more half-hour to go!”
Morgan assures Kendrick, “You’re going to survive this night, and many mwany more like it.”
The quote at the top of today’s post is from a 1971 interview with Thayer David, which I think I got from one of Kathryn Leigh Scott’s books.
Tomorrow: The Dark Shadows Parts.
— Danny Horn