Tag Archives: backacting

Episode 291: The Alchemist

August 1967, Malcolm Marmorstein, , , , , ,

“The basis of your problem is the destructive nature of your blood cells.”

In Friday’s episode, Julia baited Barnabas into coming to her room to strangle her. But she knew he was coming, and waited quietly in the corner. Now she steps into the moonlight, and delivers some absolutely explosive dialogue.

Julia:  I know what you are. You’re Barnabas Collins — the only Barnabas Collins, who died over a hundred and thirty years ago.

Barnabas:  That’s an absurd statement.

Julia:  Don’t try to deny it. I’ve investigated you thoroughly, and I’ve seen you in your coffin.

Barnabas:  You realize that such knowledge puts you in great danger.

Julia:  Well, of course. That’s why I took the precaution of putting a dummy in the bed.

Which is an unbelievably badass thing to say. Whenever someone asks you for an example of why Dark Shadows is the most surprising and therefore the greatest television show of all time, you can direct them to this scene.

(Note: There is a very good chance that nobody will ever ask you this question. But it’s good to be prepared, just in case.)

Continue reading Episode 291: The Alchemist →

Episode 286: Slumber Party

July 1967, Ron Sproat, , , ,

“He never intended for her to die. Only to live.”

At the end of today’s episode, Barnabas is going to sneak into the room where Vicki’s sleeping, and lean over to bite her. I know, spoiler warning, but seriously it’s the only possible ending that this episode could have.

There’s a storm outside, Vicki is stuck at the Old House, and Barnabas has invited her to sleep in Josette’s room. What do you think is going to happen, they’re going to start a fantasy baseball league? Please.

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Episode 270: Here Comes the Bride

Joe Caldwell, July 1967, , ,

“I think that’s where I’ll go for my honeymoon. I think I’ll go crazy!”

It’s the next morning, and Carolyn is rummaging in Jason’s room. Apparently, this is one of those episodes that features people rummaging. She finds a locked journal, cuts it open, and scans the pages. Then Jason enters the room, and finds her there. Rummaging is not for everyone.

But today is a happy occasion for us all, because after weeks of swimming in circles, the grand day has arrived — Elizabeth and Jason’s wedding day.

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Episode 256: Falling Down

June 1967, Malcolm Marmorstein, , , , ,

“You always choose the worst things to want.”

Maggie is in her basement cell looking bored, and no wonder; she’s gotten used to a pretty hectic lifestyle. She spent a couple weeks walking up and down the Old House stairs wearing a wedding dress, which sounds boring but at least it’s aerobic exercise. Now she has nothing to do but stare off into space and wait for spectral visitations.

So things perk up a bit when she hears a little girl outside the cell, singing. You remember last week when London Bridge was falling down, falling down, falling down? Well, it still is.

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Episode 232: Just Add Water

May 1967, Ron Sproat, , ,

“They just kept asking me questions, nothing but questions!”

So here’s the thing about soap operas: just because it’s on every day doesn’t mean you’re actually supposed to watch it every day. I mean, you’re allowed to have a life of your own. It’s 1967, you’re probably tie-dyeing something.

You can tell how often you’re supposed to watch a soap by seeing how far back they’ll recap the story for you. If the characters are still standing around talking about something that happened two weeks ago, then you can probably just show up on Fridays and you won’t miss much. In the early 2000s, NBC had a soap opera called Passions, which was so glacially slow that the optimal viewing schedule was one episode every three weeks. Or, preferably, not at all.

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Episode 227: Sick Day

Malcolm Marmorstein, May 1967, , ,

“That sea air is the most unhealthy thing in the world to breathe.”

Here’s another strange thing about 1960s daytime TV: Videotape was so expensive that when they reprise yesterday’s cliffhanger at the top of the episode, they don’t use a clip — the actors just go ahead and do the scene over again.

This is so different from modern television that it’s hard to even think about it. Imagine if every episode of a show started with “Previously, on Mad Men” — and then the actors performed all the clips live, including costume changes and running around to different sets.

Now that I think about it, that would be kind of amazing.

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Episode 218: Madman with a Box

April 1967, Malcolm Marmorstein, , , , ,

“There were even those who would like to have considered Barnabas Collins dead. But he lived on. He lived on, and outlived all his enemies.”

Yesterday, we left Jason creeping up to the mausoleum, saying, “Willie?” And that’s where we pick up again today, except now he goes inside and says it some more. This is a seriously committed game of Where’s Willie. Jason spends a whole minute pacing around the small mausoleum set, then stops and whispers, “Willie?” Look, dude, unless Willie is a foot and a half tall and invisible, I’m pretty sure he’s not here.

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Episode 216: I Don’t Dig You Out

April 1967, Ron Sproat, , ,

“I didn’t mean to almost try to kill you.”

So, the story so far: Barnabas got up out of his coffin, bit Willie on the wrist, apparently, and then went out and drank a whole cow. Now Willie’s at the Blue Whale drowning his sorrows, and who can blame him? He’s competing with livestock, it’s a tough gig.

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