“I don’t think it’s very healthy, living in this house.”
Mrs. Johnson must be an angel in human form, that’s the only way you can explain it. I don’t care how many wings they’ve shut down — Collinwood is a mansion, and as far as we know, she’s the only person taking care of the whole place. She cleans all the rooms, cooks all the meals, and monitors the radio for plot-relevant air disasters. Plus, four months ago, Mrs. Stoddard held a wedding in the drawing room, confessed to killing her first husband, and asked the local sheriff to dig up his body in the basement, and Mrs. Johnson wasn’t even invited.
And now she has to deal with this nonsense. She walks into Julia’s room, and finds her standing on a chair, trying to take the drapes down.
Continue reading Episode 359: Love and Death →
“This room could play an important and perhaps tragic part in your life, if you let it.”
Happy Halloween, everyone! Today’s episode aired on October 31, 1967 — not that you can tell from watching the episode, because they don’t mention it. But Carolyn seems to be getting into the holiday spirit — she wakes up early, walks downstairs to the foyer, stands in front of Barnabas’ portrait, and brushes her fingers across her brand-new gaping neck wound.
Continue reading Episode 352: Disturbed Children →
“The basis of your problem is the destructive nature of your blood cells.”
In Friday’s episode, Julia baited Barnabas into coming to her room to strangle her. But she knew he was coming, and waited quietly in the corner. Now she steps into the moonlight, and delivers some absolutely explosive dialogue.
Julia: I know what you are. You’re Barnabas Collins — the only Barnabas Collins, who died over a hundred and thirty years ago.
Barnabas: That’s an absurd statement.
Julia: Don’t try to deny it. I’ve investigated you thoroughly, and I’ve seen you in your coffin.
Barnabas: You realize that such knowledge puts you in great danger.
Julia: Well, of course. That’s why I took the precaution of putting a dummy in the bed.
Which is an unbelievably badass thing to say. Whenever someone asks you for an example of why Dark Shadows is the most surprising and therefore the greatest television show of all time, you can direct them to this scene.
(Note: There is a very good chance that nobody will ever ask you this question. But it’s good to be prepared, just in case.)
Continue reading Episode 291: The Alchemist →