Episode 258: The Casual Ghost

June 1967, Malcolm Marmorstein, , ,

“I’m the sole judge of who deserves what!”

Time is running out for Maggie Evans, who’s still being held prisoner in the Old House basement. Her only hope is that the mysterious little girl who she saw on Monday will come back, bringing parents, the police and a crossbow.

Maggie’s just on the verge of giving up when Sarah suddenly appears in the cell, still playing with a ball and singing “London Bridge”. This is a new milestone for the show. On Monday, it was possible that this was just a really weird kid who’s been hiding in the basement since the late 18th century. But today, the girl straight-up apparates through a brick wall, leaving no room for doubt.

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Episode 257: Bachelor Party

June 1967, Malcolm Marmorstein, , ,

“If you feel it… sit it.”

Here’s how you know you’re not making a hit with your fiancee’s parents: When her mother opens the door, she immediately shrinks back and murmurs, “Oh,” as if she’s just stepped in something. And this is Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, a woman who literally has not left the house in 18 years; you’d think she’d be happy with any new faces who come along.

But Buzz Hackett is an acquired taste, I guess. Liz says that she’ll tell Carolyn that he’s here. Buzz says, “Hey, can’t I come inside?” Liz says “No,” and shuts the door in his face.

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Episode 256: Falling Down

June 1967, Malcolm Marmorstein, , , , ,

“You always choose the worst things to want.”

Maggie is in her basement cell looking bored, and no wonder; she’s gotten used to a pretty hectic lifestyle. She spent a couple weeks walking up and down the Old House stairs wearing a wedding dress, which sounds boring but at least it’s aerobic exercise. Now she has nothing to do but stare off into space and wait for spectral visitations.

So things perk up a bit when she hears a little girl outside the cell, singing. You remember last week when London Bridge was falling down, falling down, falling down? Well, it still is.

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Episode 255: Job Interview with the Vampire

June 1967, Ron Sproat, , , ,

“I just want to get out of this room! I’ll go insane if I have to stay in here any longer.”

Let’s look into the future, just for a moment. We’ll jump ahead to June 1968, one year after today’s episode aired.

In episode 515, Barnabas has been chained up in the Old House basement, and trapped behind a brick wall. His friends, Julia and Willie, are looking for him, and the audience is on edge, hoping that they can find him in time.

I’m bringing this up to demonstrate the unbelievable 180-degree turn that happens over the next twelve months of Dark Shadows. By summer 1968, Barnabas Collins will be the show’s romantic hero, the brave protector battling the supernatural horrors that threaten his family.

But that’s a year from now. At the moment, Barnabas is completely batshit insane.

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Episode 254: The Summer of Love

Joe Caldwell, June 1967, ,

“That guy looks like about as much fun as a bag full of spiders.”

Carolyn’s been acting out this week, punishing her mother for getting engaged to Jason.

But Carolyn’s rebellion is PG-rated at best, especially for 1967. The sum total of her transgressions are that she’s dating a guy who wears a black leather jacket, and they go for motorcycle rides. Buzz only drinks beer, and he doesn’t even like it very much. There’s no sex, no drugs, and only the loosest association to rock ‘n roll.

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Episode 253: Alive and Someplace

Joe Caldwell, June 1967, , ,

“Why are you so frightened of me? It’s I who should be frightened of you.”

Well, Maggie’s still being held captive in her prison cell in the Old House basement, and she’s finally changed out of the wedding dress. Her new look is a lot more subdued, just some shapeless dark robe.

So that goes straight to the top of my list of Scenes I Wish We’d Gotten to See — Maggie changing her clothes in the cell. Do you think Willie brought her the robe, and asked her to return the wedding dress? Did he have to remind her to give back the diamond necklace? That must have been one of the Great Awkward Moments in History.

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Episode 252: How to Ruin Your Life

June 1967, Malcolm Marmorstein, , , ,

“I don’t have to think about you. I know we swing, and that’s all I have to know.”

This week, we’re going to alternate back and forth between vampire episodes and blackmail episodes. That means that the cliffhangers can’t really be that compelling — if I can wait two days before I see the resolution, then I’m probably not that worried.

On the positive side, this schedule accentuates the contrast between the interesting ghoulish-madman story and the dull 18-years-ago-murder story, and challenges the writers to up their game on the Collinwood side. And today, they deliver. Let’s meet the new man in Carolyn’s life.

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Episode 251: Close to Killing You

June 1967, Ron Sproat, , , , ,

“He was going to turn me into something inhuman!”

Friday’s cliffhanger was kind of a game changer — Maggie broke free from the hypnotic trance she’d been in, and tried to drive a stake into the vampire’s heart. But it was too late; he woke up.

Now Maggie’s standing there with a stake in her hand, and what are you going to say at that point? I think you might have dropped this, I was just giving it back? It’s not easy to pull that off.

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Episode 249: That Room with Those Things

June 1967, Malcolm Marmorstein, ,

“This is what you wanted, and you’re having it.”

Okay, you remember when Carolyn decided that she was going to get the key to the locked room in the basement? Well, that was exactly four weeks ago, and since then the story has not progressed a single step.

We’re going to learn a lot about suspense today. Specifically, we’re going to learn how to not generate it.

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