Tag Archives: n00b

793 dark shadows aristede angelique puppeteer

Episode 793: The Puppeteer

“Can’t you tell what I’m doing? I’m choking you.”

Quentin lights three black candles, and we get the spooky summoning ritual music. “Oh, hidden spirit,” he chants to nobody in particular, “climb out of the pits of Hell, if that is where you be!”

He’s trying to reach Angelique, the sorcerous soap vixen, because sometimes things really are that bad.

“Hidden spirit… Make your presence known to me!”

His face was shredded by a legendary artifact called the Hand of Count Petofi, and just when he hoped to use the Hand again to cure himself, an intruder showed up and snatched it away.

“You are needed! NOW!”

But it’s no use, Angelique doesn’t show up. Last time he tried to call on her, she flew out of the fireplace on demand, but this ritual is a bust. That’s how bad things are for Quentin right now; his most desperate prayers go unanswered.

Magda tells him that they might as well give up, and run away. She rushes to the door, opens it — and finds Angelique, who’s just standing there on the porch. She didn’t hear Quentin’s summoning ritual or anything; she just happened to be coming by anyway. Angelique is a baller.

Continue reading Episode 793: The Puppeteer

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Episode 358: Boy Meets Ghoul

“Okay, you’re pretty, but we’re not on a bus.”

So then Carolyn rushes over to the Old House, to tell Barnabas what happened in yesterday’s episode. It’s not easy.

Carolyn:  Barnabas, I saw it! Hoffman’s notebook!

Barnabas:  Where?

Carolyn:  In her hands. She’d taken it from the clock.

Barnabas:  The clock? What clock?

Carolyn:  The large clock, in the foyer at Collinwood.

Barnabas:  Well, you seized the notebook, of course?

Carolyn:  I couldn’t!

Barnabas:  Why not?

Carolyn:  This lawyer came in.

Barnabas:  What lawyer?

I know, right? I feel bad for the guy; he’s only missed one episode, and now he has no idea what she’s talking about.

Continue reading Episode 358: Boy Meets Ghoul

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Episode 319: This Maniac

“I’ll have a man behind every bush and tree, if you give the word.”

Well, the Collinsport Star had to break out the 84-point type again. Another Girl Attacked! You have to admit, it makes for a compelling headline.

Underneath that, the sub-head says “Police Baffled”, about which quelle surprise. I’ve seen the Collinsport police. “Baffled” is actually a pretty good day for them.

Continue reading Episode 319: This Maniac