“You are forbidden to enter this house! You no longer exist!”
All right, if everyone will take their seats, we can begin today’s class on how not to write scripts.
Tag Archives: good night
Episode 668: The Aristocrats
“Sometimes I get scared to like people, because I’m afraid.”
There are five more Ron Sproat episodes, and then, I swear to you, he is out of my life for good.
To catch up the uncaught: Over the last three months on Dark Shadows, there’s been a behind the scenes tug-of-war between two of the writers, Ron Sproat and Sam Hall. Ron’s been on the show since November 1966, and he lkes to slow things down and take his time. He writes a lot of recap scenes, and a whole week can go by without anything really happening. Sam joined the show in November 1967, and he’s the opposite. He’s smart, fearless and easily bored, and he wants to make the show faster, funnier, and more interesting.
Ron and Sam have been out of synch for a long time, and their disagreements are getting worse. That’s why the last few months have been a patchwork of exciting episodes and boring episodes, even more than usual.
By now, Sam has won, and Ron is on his way out. There’s only a handful of Sproat episodes left — and based on today’s episode, it sounds like he’s already cleaned out his desk.
Honestly, he’s not even trying anymore. I mean, he never really tried that hard in the first place, but now he’s not even trying to look like he’s trying.
Episode 642: Mind Over Manners
“There’s not much point in being both rude and mysterious.”
Over the last couple of weeks, Christopher Jennings has murdered at least two human beings — I know they were only day players, but even day players are God’s children, presumably — and yet we like Chris, and we let him get away with being really quite skilled at covering up for his ongoing murder spree, because he’s sexy and polite and interesting, and what does that say about us? Probably something terrible.
Episode 285: Kandor Crush
“Was it the weather that made you think you saw a little girl on the top of the stairs?”
Oh, fantastic — it’s another day, and Victoria Winters is still sitting in her bedroom and staring at that music box, like she’s trying to figure out how to shrink herself and live inside it like the Bottle City of Kandor.
Carolyn comes in, and asks Vicki some questions. The conversation basically goes like this.
Q: What are you thinking about?
A: I saw Maggie the other day.
Q: Where did you see her?
A: In the cemetery.
Q: Why were you in the cemetery?
A: Because it was Josette’s birthday.
So Carolyn stops asking questions. At a certain point, there’s simply nothing you can do.
Dark Shadows Every Day 