Category Archives: Ron Sproat

Episode 283: Role Playing

July 1967, Ron Sproat, , , ,

“Does the name Collins mean anything to you?”

Dr. Woodard is visiting Windcliff Sanitarium for another needlessly combative progress report on Maggie’s treatment. This is the third time we’ve seen him at Windcliff, and each time, he’s been verbally arm-wrestling for control over the case with Maggie’s doctor, Dr. Julia Hoffman.

Today, Dr. Hoffman wonders what would happen if they took Maggie to the Eagle Hill cemetery, where she was found sleepwalking before her abduction. The suggestion makes Woodard erupt in fury.

Woodard:  To begin with, Eagle Hill cemetery is right outside of Collinsport. Somebody’s liable to spot Maggie. But more important than that — subjecting her to an experience like that might very well drive Maggie to the point of no return.

Julia:  I realize there are risks involved.

Woodard:  Risks! You are playing around with a girl’s mind. You can’t take risks like that!

So, just another day at the medical conference, really. In fact, this scene is so similar to Woodard and Julia’s previous bouts that it’s easy to miss the fact that they’ve actually swapped personalities.

Continue reading Episode 283: Role Playing →

Episode 280: Costume Drama

July 1967, Ron Sproat, , , , ,

“I must insist, I think this is a great deal of nonsense.”

We’ve seen a remarkable change in Barnabas’ character this week — not necessarily a change in his core values and moral system, but certainly a change in the way that he’s being presented. But as striking as that change is — killer ghoul on Monday, perky party host by Friday — he actually isn’t the only villain-school dropout in the room.

In fact, all four of the male characters in today’s episode have played the heavy in past storylines. When Dark Shadows began, just a little over a year ago, Roger was an unsympathetic absent father and possible murderer, and Burke was a ruthless businessman intent on revenge against the Collins family. And it was only a few weeks ago that Vicki and Carolyn didn’t feel safe in the same house as Willie Loomis. And yet here they all are in today’s episode, chatting away, like a happy group of friends.

There’s actually a tendency over time for soap opera characters’ personalities to drift a bit, usually in the direction of becoming more like the actors who play them. This is partly a result of the hectic schedule of soap opera production, which requires a round-robin of writers and producers to keep the story going, sometimes over decades. After a while, the actor is the only person who’s consistently been paying attention to what their character is supposed to be like.

And in Barnabas’ case, nobody has any idea what his character is going to be. The original plan was that Dr. Woodard would rescue Maggie from the Old House weeks ago, banging a piece of wood through Barnabas’ undead heart along the way. But the vampire got a reprieve, thanks to the fan mail that’s been pouring in, so they’re just making it up as they go along.

This isn’t an arc. They don’t have a plan. There is literally not a single person on the Dark Shadows production staff who has any idea what’s going to happen next.

Continue reading Episode 280: Costume Drama →

Episode 276: Crime Scenes

July 1967, Ron Sproat, , , , ,

“Your friend? But you told me he tried to kill you.”

Today’s episode kicks off with an interesting milestone — it’s the first time Barnabas Collins kills somebody. There was that business with the cows early on, and lately he’s been snacking on the locals, but those have all been off-screen and apparently non-fatal. After three months, this is the first bona fide vampire kill, and happily, it’s a character that everybody in the audience wanted dead anyway.

Now, technically we don’t see the actual murder on screen. A hand grabs Jason’s throat, and then there’s the opening titles. When we come back, Jason is dead on the floor.

So we don’t see the specific moment when Barnabas actually chokes the life out of the dude. But that’s probably for the best, because it’s the middle of July, it’s 3:30 in the afternoon, and there are children watching. Suddenly, this dull soap opera has transformed into a daily half-hour horror movie, so they’re still feeling their way around, tone-wise.

Continue reading Episode 276: Crime Scenes →

Episode 275: The Last Normal Day

July 1967, Ron Sproat, , ,

“Then it’s over! It’s all over!”

So, you know that blackmail storyline where Liz had to do everything that Jason said, because otherwise she’d go to prison and her daughter would hate her forever?

Well, guess what? Liz finally told everybody that she killed Paul, and now she’s going to prison, and her daughter hates her forever.

Continue reading Episode 275: The Last Normal Day →

Episode 268: Suicide Is Painful

July 1967, Ron Sproat, ,

“All right, mother, I’ll tell you. I was out with Buzz. And what’s more, I had a ball.”

We take you now, live, to Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, who’s sitting in her bedroom with a seriously bewildered look on her face.

Her gaze darts across the room to the Collins Family Bible, which is sitting on a nearby credenza, apparently calling to her in a fairly urgent way. She stands up, leafs through the book until she finds the Family Register page, and stares at her own birthdate.

Suddenly, she slams the book shut, looks around, and says, “What am I doing?” Then she pauses, waiting for an answer. I thought that was a rhetorical question, but she might actually be asking the director.

Continue reading Episode 268: Suicide Is Painful →

Episode 266: Jump Start

July 1967, Ron Sproat,

“The sea is my grave. My grave is the sea.”

At the beginning of today’s episode, Vicki’s introductory voiceover tells us that Liz is dreaming about her own death, and I don’t blame her one bit. We’re starting on a full week of Liz/Jason blackmail episodes, so I can see how things might seem pretty hopeless.

You can tell that today is going to be an action-packed barn burner, because we start out with a dream sequence that involves a woman in her nightgown walking around in the woods. At least, I think that’s what she’s doing. There’s so much vaseline on the lens that there’s hardly any lens.

Continue reading Episode 266: Jump Start →

Episode 263: Don’t Say Anything

June 1967, Ron Sproat, ,

“Apparently, that madman is still around.”

Yesterday, Vicki spent the entire episode having feelings about Maggie’s death, and today she’s going to have them all over again. This is exactly how a traditional soap opera is supposed to run — something happens maybe once a week, and the rest of the time is processing everyone’s feelings.

If you don’t watch a lot of soaps, that probably sounds like the most boring possible TV show, but a well-written soap opera makes it work. You just need to build up the stakes, so that a character’s emotional response has an effect on other people.

On Downton Abbey, when Matthew is wounded in the war, they spend weeks exploring how Mary feels, and how Lavinia feels, and how Matthew feels about Lavinia’s feelings, and how Mary feels about Matthew’s feelings, and on and on, and we’re all sitting there with our eyes glued to the TV, because we can’t imagine living another day unless we find out what these make-believe people are going to say to each other.

Continue reading Episode 263: Don’t Say Anything →

Episode 261: Bigger on the Inside

June 1967, Ron Sproat, , , ,

“It could be a matter of minutes. Then again, it could be a matter of hours.”

On Friday, we had the first genuinely suspenseful Dark Shadows episode, with an exciting cliffhanger that promised an unpredictable change in the status quo. Today, they have to deliver on that promise. Let’s see what happens.

Continue reading Episode 261: Bigger on the Inside →

Episode 260: The Secret of My Suspense

June 1967, Ron Sproat, , , , , ,

“The clue is large! That doesn’t make any sense.”

Picture this: It’s 3:30, on a sunny Friday afternoon. It’s late June, so this might actually be the last day of school, and it’s 1967, so the kids are looking forward to a long, hot and mostly unsupervised summer. Mom’s been watching General Hospital, so the TV is tuned to ABC. The last notes of the Wurlitzer pipe organ playing the GH theme have faded away, as the kids pile into the house and throw themselves down on the living room floor.

And just at that moment, in a dirty prison cell in the basement of a haunted house, a man brings a tray of food to the pretty young woman who’s trapped there. They exchange a few words, and then he hands her a glass of poisoned milk.

Continue reading Episode 260: The Secret of My Suspense →

Episode 255: Job Interview with the Vampire

June 1967, Ron Sproat, , , ,

“I just want to get out of this room! I’ll go insane if I have to stay in here any longer.”

Let’s look into the future, just for a moment. We’ll jump ahead to June 1968, one year after today’s episode aired.

In episode 515, Barnabas has been chained up in the Old House basement, and trapped behind a brick wall. His friends, Julia and Willie, are looking for him, and the audience is on edge, hoping that they can find him in time.

I’m bringing this up to demonstrate the unbelievable 180-degree turn that happens over the next twelve months of Dark Shadows. By summer 1968, Barnabas Collins will be the show’s romantic hero, the brave protector battling the supernatural horrors that threaten his family.

But that’s a year from now. At the moment, Barnabas is completely batshit insane.

Continue reading Episode 255: Job Interview with the Vampire →