“So they’ve begun their madness again!”
Round 1:
Bramwell: So they’ve begun their madness again!
Catherine: Bramwell!
Bramwell: Yes.
Catherine: Why, it’s so good to see you up! I didn’t —
Bramwell: Yes, Catherine?
Catherine: Why, you look well.
Bramwell: Thank you.
Catherine: How do you feel?
Bramwell: Yes, they’ve truly begun again, haven’t they?
Bramwell: Well, how does it feel to be part of all that, Catherine? You always wanted to be a Collins, and now you are! How does it feel to be a part of all that madness?
Catherine: Bramwell… I am so glad to see you. I really am. But I don’t think you should stay here.
Bramwell: Why, Catherine?
Catherine: Because of what Morgan will think if he sees us together.
Bramwell: Why should Morgan mind? You’re his wife, you chose to be his wife, didn’t you?
Catherine: Yes.
Bramwell: Then why should Morgan mind?
Catherine: Well, because… I just think he will, that’s all.
Bramwell: That’s a poor explanation, Catherine. Good evening.
Catherine: Bramwell…
Bramwell: Yes?
Round 2:
Catherine: It’s good to see you again, it really is.
Bramwell: Is it?
Catherine: You look well!
Bramwell: Well, I’m glad. I’m glad and I’m well. I’m gladwell!
Catherine: Bramwell…
Bramwell: Yes, Catherine?
Catherine: We’ve truly begun again, haven’t we?
Bramwell: How are you, Catherine?
Catherine: I’m well.
Bramwell: I mean your life.
Catherine: Why, you look well.
Bramwell: Thank you.
Catherine: But I don’t think you should stay here.
Bramwell: Why, Catherine?
Catherine: Because of what Morgan will think if he sees us together.
Bramwell: How are you, Catherine?
Catherine: I’m well.
Bramwell: I mean your life.
Bramwell: Are you happy?
Catherine: Well, who could be happy in this house right now? It’s impossible! All that’s happening.
Bramwell: How does it feel to be a part of all that?
Catherine: But with Morgan? Yes, I’m happy.
Bramwell: I don’t believe you.
Catherine: Well, I’m sorry.
Bramwell: Then why should Morgan mind?
Catherine: Bramwell…
Bramwell: You’re his wife, you chose to be his wife!
Bramwell: Do you wish I’d never come?
Catherine: Yes.
Bramwell: I don’t believe that either. Are you uncomfortable with me?
Catherine: Of course not. I’m just concerned about what Morgan will think if he sees us.
Bramwell: Why should Morgan mind?
Catherine: I just think he will, that’s all.
Bramwell: I don’t believe you.
Catherine: It’s impossible! All that’s happening.
Bramwell: I don’t believe that either.
Bramwell: Would he know that you want me to touch you now?
Catherine: Would you know that he wants you not to touch me now?
Bramwell: Would he know that I know that you want to know that he knows how I know that you want me to touch you now?
Catherine: I don’t know!
Bramwell: Third base!
Catherine: Bramwell, don’t! Please, I don’t want you to touch me. Not now, not ever again!
Bramwell: Are you sorry that I lived?
Catherine: Don’t say that!
Bramwell: I’m sorry.
Catherine: Well, I’m happy.
Bramwell: I don’t believe you.
Catherine: Well, who could be happy in this house right now?
Bramwell: But if Morgan had killed me in that duel, you would never have had to go through this again!
Catherine: Not ever again!
Bramwell: But as it is, you will have to go through it over and over and over, whether I am here or not!
Catherine: Well, how does it feel to be part of all that?
Bramwell: You will remember, and you will long for the times that we spent together.
Catherine: No, Bramwell, please don’t.
Bramwell: Are you sorry that I lived?
Catherine: Of course not. I wanted you to live, I wanted Morgan to live!
Bramwell: But if Morgan had killed me in that duel…
Catherine: I would never have had to go through this again!
Bramwell: But why should Morgan mind?
Catherine: I was against the duel from the very beginning! You know that!
Bramwell: I’m just concerned about what Morgan will think.
Catherine: Please, don’t ever speak of it again.
Bramwell: Very well.
Round 3:
Catherine: How is Daphne?
Bramwell: You’ve just seen her, Catherine. You know how she is.
Catherine: I don’t know why I asked you that question.
Bramwell: Don’t you?
Catherine: Please, don’t!
Bramwell: But why?
Catherine: I didn’t —
Bramwell: Is it?
Catherine: Bramwell…
Bramwell: Didn’t you?
Catherine: Of course not.
Bramwell: Very well.
Catherine: Please, don’t ever speak of it again.
Bramwell: She’s been very kind to me. I needed someone. She was there. You weren’t.
Catherine: That’s a poor explanation.
Bramwell: Does that bother you?
Catherine: Are you sorry that I lived?
Bramwell: I don’t know why I asked you that question.
Catherine: I don’t think she should be there in the house with you. People will talk.
Bramwell: Oh, come now, Catherine. You don’t really think that.
Catherine: I’m just concerned about what Morgan will think.
Bramwell: You wouldn’t be jealous, would you, Catherine?
Morgan: And for what reason does she have to be jealous!
Round 4:
Catherine: Morgan!
Morgan: Catherine, go inside.
Catherine: Morgan, it’s —
Morgan: I said inside!
Morgan: I told you I never, ever wanted to see you here again.
Bramwell: You always wanted to be a Collins, and now you are.
Morgan: Now, get out!
Catherine: Morgan, it’s —
Morgan: Catherine, go inside!
Bramwell: You wouldn’t be jealous, would you, Morgan?
Morgan: And for what reason do I have to be jealous?
Bramwell: You change your tone, my friend. Now!
Morgan: She’s my wife, she chose to be my wife!
Bramwell: That’s a poor explanation.
Morgan: All that’s happening!
Morgan: We fought our duel fairly and squarely.
Bramwell: Fairly and squarely?
Morgan: Really!
Bramwell: Truly?
Morgan: I won, and I chose to have you off my property now. Now!
Catherine: Not now, not ever again!
Morgan: My choice may be different next time.
Bramwell: As might mine.
Catherine: As might mine!
Bramwell: You’re his wife, you chose to be his wife!
Morgan: Catherine, go inside!
Morgan: All right, goad me.
Bramwell: Oh, come now.
Morgan: You had time to fire, didn’t you?
Bramwell: I wanted you to live, I wanted Morgan to live!
Morgan: Why did you keep from pulling that trigger? Answer me!
Bramwell: Good evening, Morgan.
Morgan: Don’t you ever come back here again, Bramwell! I’m warning you! My choice might be different next time! Do you hear me?
Bramwell: Fairly and squarely!
Morgan: I don’t know why I asked you that question!
Tomorrow: The Not Gabriel.
Dark Shadows bloopers to watch out for:
At the end of his scene with Catherine, Morgan trips over the word “interminable.”
Bramwell asks Catherine why Morgan will mind if they’re together. She says, “Well, because —” and then someone coughs in the studio.
Josette scolds Julia, “You should have never gone to Old House, should you?”
Behind the Scenes:
Tim Braithwaite is played, briefly, in this episode and the next by John Kuhner, also known as John Kuhner Ponyman, a name he assumed several years later. He did some acting and some gay sex in New York, and then moved to San Francisco and did more acting and more gay sex, and I’m sure he enjoyed it all tremendously. There was a lovely page about him on a site called The Estate Project (now archived here, on Internet Archive) which featured tributes to artists who died of HIV. He was active with the San Francisco gay theater collective Theatre Rhinoceros, and appeared in a bunch of plays that are now largely ungoogleable. But check out the Wikipedia page for Theatre Rhinoceros, which will open up a whole new world of plays that you have never heard of. Ponyman died in 1984, beloved by all who knew him. He only visited with us briefly, but take a moment to think of him; he is one of ours.
Tomorrow: The Not Gabriel.
— Danny Horn
Dark Shadows Every Day 
…Why do I feel I just read a DARK SHADOWS episode written by Samuel Beckett? Actually, that would be awesome, wouldn’t it?
Also, that bio at the end was very sweet. I had no idea about this actor, and I think I shamefully was not paying as much attention to the screen for his two episodes as I should have done. Part of me wants to go back and rewatch them, if only for his scenes.
Then another part of me reminds that part of me what’s going on at this point in DARK SHADOWS. Hard pass. Sorry, Mr. Kuhner.
Indeed. If anyone is going write a Dark Shadows Strindberg play (or a ‘Dark Shadows Babylon’ for that matter), I do hope it’s Danny Horn.
But then perhaps he already is doing so through DSEveryday blogs.
“Waiting for Bramwell”?
Indeed. If anyone is going write a Dark Shadows Strindberg play (or a ‘Dark Shadows Babylon’ for that matter), I do hope it’s Danny Horn.
But then perhaps he already is through DSEveryday blogs.
I don’t know how this ended up being posted twice. I cannot see how to delete one.
Danny, can you do the honours and delete one?
Thanks!
Miles Davis approves of this post.
beautiful Danny. and heartfelt.
Is this the swan song for the Collinwood terrace? I always liked that set.
And they didn’t even turn on the fountain for it.
Bramwell is making me unwell.
I get absolutely no feeling that these two have or have ever had anything like love between them. Morgan’s shown Catherine more affection, Hell, even Julia’s showinher more kindness!
Agreed. Jonathan Frid is trying at least, but he is noticeably too old for this part. Not to be unkind, but Lara Parker is at least 10 years too old to play Catherine as well. Bramwell is not good looking enough or charming enough to get away with his sullen bullying. Morgan (when he is not shouting) has been very loving towards Catherine, esp. since he keeps finding her alone with Bramwell. I think they want us to be on the side of Bramwell and Catherine but those are the two characters I am the least supportive of.
“I don’t know!”
“Third base!”
I laughed through the whole thing.
Usually the show is at its strongest during the first couple of weeks of a segment, then gradually bogs down. But 1840PT is at its strongest towards the middle. Worthwhile moments were few and far between in the first two weeks, but 1214 is the sixth good episode in a row. Every scene works, and the scene on the terrace is very very good. Just look at the post- how long has it been since there was a sequence so well written that it could support a parody as witty as that, and so well acted that it would move you to watch it as many times as it took to write it?
This is the first blog post that caused me to laugh out loud. I’m surprised, but a tip o’ the hat to Danny.
I’m only a couple of viewing days ahead of whatever happened to Tim Braithwaite and have already forgotten what it was in this PT wreckage. As for the actor Kuhner, actions have consequences. Same goes for any of the others from this cast who failed to exercise self control during an epidemic. They knew the score.
Ah, I see. Braithwaite was Gabriel’s stand-in during his lottery time. The surname only clicked due to the jeweler in another time. Not sure if my mind is a sieve due to aging or due to how dreadful DS has become in 1840 PT. Possibly it’s due to knowing I’m ticking off the last episodes far too quickly on Amazon. Where to go when it ends? The beginning-beginning?
This will be the first time I’ve ever seen all the episodes of DS – post-Barnabas appearing, and I’m currently bummed that it unceremoniously ended..
Changing to middle school during it’s original airing, put the kibosh on running home to catch the end of an episode. Too far. Most of the girls I hung out with had switched to the new soap, All My Children, so DS became a non player during days off and summers. Some small corner of my mind probably knew that it had been cancelled, but it no longer mattered. I vaguely recall the Leviathan arc being the last hurrah for me as a kid.
Did a period of video taping it when it ran on Sci-Fi, as it played during the time I was running my kids to school. That didn’t last too long. I swear I hit the same darn Leviathan arc then too. Anybody recommend viewing the first year? Bear in mind I absolutely hated the phoenix story and the actress, in one of the later time bands.
This post sums up with perfection the absolute tedium and rage watching a Grand Romance from the outside can generate. You see these two idiots, having the same damn conversation over and over, each time emoting and pacing like they’re seconds away from the end of the world, when anybody who’s spent more than fifteen minutes around them knows this is simply Version 1245 of their endless riffing on the subject of Their Love.
Then along comes the Third Idiot, who is essential to both the first two idiots for several reasons:
1) He provides the goad and grit for their relationship, which requires peril, misunderstanding, and rampaging wails of betrayal to survive.
2) Second Idiot needs him around to demonstrate to herself that she doesn’t “need” First Idiot and thus makes herself inaccessible to said First Idiot, keeping the drama stoked.
3) Third Idiot needs him to block his path to Second Idiot so his favorite emotions, Outsized Self Pity and Grandiose Demanding of Attention, get a good airing.
4) Second and Third Idiot also need each other, but they triangulate themselves around First Idiot in order to make their rage and lust for the Other channel through an acceptable filter of romantic rivalry. First Idiot is merely a stand-in that they project their enormous stores of EMOTIONS! onto.
I cannot believe Daphne is falling for Bramwell in any way after who knows how many years in her front row seat for these endless shenanigans. At least Isabella Linton had the excuse of total geographical isolation and the fact that there was literally no other eligible male in a fifty mile radius.
Arrgh, step three should be “SECOND Idiot need him to block his path to FIRST idiot.” So many idiots.
Man that scene on the terrace! What a mess! In fact this whole episode is a mess! And how odd that in real life we’re living in a mess of an episode that has everyone wondering who has the plague and how severe it is, even here a year after this post was first written. It’s disheartening.
This same evening ABC aired Bewitched Episode #219: “Samantha and the Troll.” Serena babysits while Samantha has gone to Dr. Bombay for a 10,000 spell checkup. Serena decides to bring Tabitha’s toys alive to play hide-n-seek with them. In the process a troll doll remains hidden and shows up when Samantha is back entertaining a client and his wife.