“I did not change Mr. Collins into a cat so that you could kill him!”
Dearly beloved, I have a question: Why do they even bother to send out Save the Date cards? It’s a soap opera wedding; they have to know that it’s not going to go as planned.
The bride calls the groom by the wrong name at the altar, and they call it off. Or the groom’s sister goes into labor during the ceremony. Or the bride shows up two hours late. Or the groom doesn’t show up at all. Or the bride’s ex-boyfriend runs in and punches the groom in the face.
Continue reading Episode 380: Something Borrowed
“I seem to remember doing time for a certain manslaughter charge.”
Personally, I don’t watch a lot of police procedurals. In my opinion, if there’s a crime on a TV show, they should either tell us who did it, or just admit that they don’t know and stop wasting everybody’s time.
So there’s a lot that I don’t know about how a police investigation should run. But even I know enough to say that pretty much everything that they do in today’s episode is wrong, and every character who appears on screen ought to be brought up on charges, up to and including the sheriff.
Continue reading Episode 272: Bourne Yesterday
“I think that’s where I’ll go for my honeymoon. I think I’ll go crazy!”
It’s the next morning, and Carolyn is rummaging in Jason’s room. Apparently, this is one of those episodes that features people rummaging. She finds a locked journal, cuts it open, and scans the pages. Then Jason enters the room, and finds her there. Rummaging is not for everyone.
But today is a happy occasion for us all, because after weeks of swimming in circles, the grand day has arrived — Elizabeth and Jason’s wedding day.
Continue reading Episode 270: Here Comes the Bride