“Are you out of your mind? That man once tried to kill you!”
“Look, Sam’s overdue,” Joe says, “I’d probably better to go down to the Blue Whale and get him.”
Maggie says, “He’s probably still talking to Professor Stokes.”
“Yeah, if Stokes ever showed up to talk to him,” Joe frowns. “I don’t know if you can believe a guy who had the nerve to swipe something right out from under your nose.”
Apparently, at some earlier point, Maggie got a gift from Cassandra, and put it on the table, and a few minutes later, it was gone. Joe insists that Professor Stokes must have taken the gift. But they brush that subject aside for now, and Joe leaves to get Maggie’s father from the bar.
After Joe’s exit, Maggie takes a pair of earrings from her purse, and looks in the mirror as she puts them on. A music box begins to play. Smiling, she grabs her coat and leaves the house. Then we pan over to the window, where we see a tall man with scars on his face, looking in at the room. There’s a big crescendo of horns and kettle drums, and then the opening titles begin.
And that’s how you can tell that the show’s ratings have gone up, because they just referenced five different storylines, and explained none of them.
Continue reading Episode 514: That Endless Summer
“A patient’s fears are always real, because they’re rooted in the only ultimate subjectivity.”
Today’s episode opens with David in his bedroom, looking into his crystal ball and calling for Sarah. And since nothing interesting is going to happen for at least the next four minutes, I might as well tell you about the strike.
Continue reading Episode 335: The Shadow He Casts
“There are a dozen reasons why that’s impossible.”
So here’s your standard, kitchen-sink soap opera situation: Willie was shot a couple days ago, and he’s still in a coma. Barnabas is pacing around the drawing room, waiting for Julia to come back from the hospital to report on the patient’s recovery.
But this is Dark Shadows, and what he’s really worried about is that if Willie pulls through, he’ll tell everyone that Barnabas is a vampire. So when Julia tells him that Willie is still alive, Barnabas explodes with anger.
“I know what you’re going to say!” he shouts. “You’re going to tell me to remain quiet and forget it. Well, I refuse to do that any longer! Willie must die!”
Continue reading Episode 328: Look! A Ring!
“I’d like you to tell me a little more about Maggie’s neck wound.”
Okay, everybody pipe down; Burke Devlin is on the phone. He appears to be conducting business from Dr. Woodard’s office today, because they don’t have a set for Burke’s office. All he has is a hotel room, and we haven’t even seen that for months. Lately, he’s been doing all his business from the pay phone at the Blue Whale, so I guess we should be glad he’s still indoors.
We only get this end of the conversation, so it’s all questions and no answers. “Any word from London yet?” he asks. “Who’d you talk to? Is the guy you spoke to the last word on birth records in London?”
So, assuming that the answer to that question is “yes” — then today’s spine-tingling rollercoaster of suspense involves talking to somebody who talked to somebody who’s the last word on birth records in London. Although I suppose it’s possible that the answer is “no,” in which case it might be the second to last word.
Continue reading Episode 303: The Back of My Mind