“He will beg for death. Death will be a mercy.”
It always starts with a box.
Someone is always too greedy, or too curious, or too clever. They go looking for trouble, and they find it. They open the mystery box, and evil is loosed upon the world. And they don’t even clean up after themselves, which is just typical, isn’t it?
Barnabas and Julia go to her room to find the notes that she’s been keeping on her experiments, and they find that Dr. Woodard’s already been there. He’s pried open the lock, and stolen Julia’s notebook, and now somebody is going to have to do something terrible.
Continue reading Episode 340: Dave Woodard Must Die
“I’m afraid of the night! Don’t let it be dark! Please, don’t let it be dark!”
Willie’s been in a coma for several days now, recovering from getting shot in the back by a trigger-happy police squad. If he comes out of the coma, then he might tell the Sheriff that Barnabas is a vampire, so Julia’s been sent to Willie’s hospital room to make sure that doesn’t happen.
In yesterday’s episode, Julia was considering pulling out Willie’s IV. Today she’s decided to go the slow route instead, killing the patient with secondhand smoke.
Dr. Woodard, like the fool he is, comes up behind Julia and tells her that he thinks the Sheriff’s right — he doesn’t think Willie was the kidnapper. Julia takes a drag on her cigarette, turns around, and blows a puff of smoke right into his face.
Continue reading Episode 329: Willie Loomis Must Die
“Another blunder! This may mean your life.”
We take you now, live, to a young boy’s subconscious mind. David Collins is having a nightmare, and everyone’s invited.
Of course, his subconscious doesn’t have to work very hard here. David’s whole life is a terrifying nightmare, so bad dreams for him are essentially just edited highlights.
Continue reading Episode 320: This Means Your Life
“I’d like you to tell me a little more about Maggie’s neck wound.”
Okay, everybody pipe down; Burke Devlin is on the phone. He appears to be conducting business from Dr. Woodard’s office today, because they don’t have a set for Burke’s office. All he has is a hotel room, and we haven’t even seen that for months. Lately, he’s been doing all his business from the pay phone at the Blue Whale, so I guess we should be glad he’s still indoors.
We only get this end of the conversation, so it’s all questions and no answers. “Any word from London yet?” he asks. “Who’d you talk to? Is the guy you spoke to the last word on birth records in London?”
So, assuming that the answer to that question is “yes” — then today’s spine-tingling rollercoaster of suspense involves talking to somebody who talked to somebody who’s the last word on birth records in London. Although I suppose it’s possible that the answer is “no,” in which case it might be the second to last word.
Continue reading Episode 303: The Back of My Mind
“How odd. Graveyards don’t fascinate most people.”
So here’s another totally normal thing that doctors do: show up at your door and ask for a blood sample. Yesterday, somebody broke into Dr. Woodard’s office and stole Maggie’s blood tests, so now he has nothing to do but go and see if anyone else has some spare blood lying around.
Woodard shows up at the Old House, and Willie recognizes him as the doctor who came to visit when he was sick last month. The doctor asks if he can examine Willie’s wounds again, and then casually drops, “Oh, and I’d also like to get a sample of your blood, for my records.”
For a doctor, Dave Woodard seems to have a lot of time on his hands; I can hardly get mine to call in a prescription refill.
Continue reading Episode 243: Blood Drive