“I’m not saying that I believe what Mr. Trask told me, although it did depress me quite a bit.”
In the Old House on the Collins estate, Barnabas Collins sits in solitary grief. Only he and Julia know that before another night has passed, Roxanne will become one of the living dead. And then there’s a knock at the door, and in walks Señor Droopy, from Guadalupe.
Randall: Are you Mr. Barnabas Collins?
Barnabas: I am.
Randall: My name is Randall Drew.
Barnabas: Well, I don’t suppose that makes much of a difference.
Randall: Roxanne was my sister. May I come in?
Barnabas: If you have to.
Barnabas: I wasn’t aware that Roxanne and Samantha had a brother.
Randall: They don’t. Oh, wait, they do. That’s me. I’ve been away from Collinsport for some time, practicing law in New York.
Barnabas: Oh, I see. And you’ve returned for Roxanne’s funeral.
Randall: Yes. She asked me never to come and see her again, but I don’t suppose that applies anymore.
Randall: Mr. Collins, what do you know about my sister’s death?
Barnabas: What do you mean?
Randall: Lamar Trask told me that he has reason to believe Roxanne died as a result of an act of sorcery, and that you were somehow implicated.
Barnabas: An act of sorcery?
Randall: Mr. Collins, I’m not saying that I believe what Mr. Trask told me, although it did depress me quite a bit.
Danny: That’s an actual line from the television show, by the way; I’m not making that one up.
Randall: But after all, he must have some reason for believing what he does.
Barnabas: I’m afraid I can’t begin to think of what it is.
Randall: I can’t either.
Barnabas: Well, that gets us exactly nowhere.
Randall: You were one of the last people to see her, on the night she died. Did she seem ill then?
Barnabas: No. As a matter of fact, she was in exceptionally high spirits. I suppose she knew that you were in New York.
Randall: But three hours later, she was dead. And Trask tells me that the animal wound on her neck mysteriously reopened. How could that have happened?
Barnabas: I have no idea. She was loved by everyone that knew her.
Randall: Were you in love with her, Mr. Collins?
Randall: Aren’t you a married man?
Barnabas: Yes, I am. But I must confess that I loved her very much.
Randall: I see. Well, I don’t know what to make of Trask’s opinions.
Barnabas: Well, Mr. Trask was engaged to Roxanne, but just before she died, she broke off her engagement.
Randall: Are you sure about that, that she broke the engagement?
Barnabas: How is that the one thing you ask a follow-up question about?
Barnabas: Oh, Julia, this is Randall Drew, Roxanne’s brother.
Julia: Well, I’m sure you can’t help it.
Barnabas: This is my sister Julia.
Julia: I’m so sorry about Roxanne.
Randall: Thank you. Well, Mr. Collins, I shan’t keep you any longer. Good night.
Barnabas: Good night.
Julia: What did he want?
Barnabas: I’m not sure, I wasn’t listening.
Samantha: Randall, I would like you to meet Valerie Collins. This is my brother, Randall.
Angelique: Well, I don’t imagine that’s of any consequence, one way or another.
Randall: Mrs. Barnabas Collins?
Angelique: Yes, that’s right. Well, I think the two of you probably want to be alone to talk things over. Also, I can’t stand to be in the same room with one of you, let alone two. Please excuse me.
Julia: I’m sure Randall will want to speak to me when I see him at Collinwood.
Barnabas: Oh, why be such a pessimist? It might happen to somebody else.
Samantha: How can you forget Joanna? You can’t even bear to hear her name, can you?
Randall: It is past history, and best forgotten. I haven’t seen her in four years, and I don’t ever plan to see her again.
Samantha: Well, obviously you won’t, she died a year ago.
Randall: She did?
Samantha: Yes, she asked us not to tell you in her suicide note. She was afraid you might come to the funeral.
Randall: Let me take you back to Collinwood with the others.
Samantha: Let them wait, I’ll only be a moment. I want to have a final look at her, to say goodbye. I wanted so much for her… I wanted her life to be so different from ours.
Randall: Well, it was different from ours. Shorter, for one thing.
Samantha: Oh, shut up, Randall, you wet mess of a man.
Angelique: Who was that young man standing at the grave beside Mr. Trask?
Samantha: That was my brother. You met him last night; he’s standing right over there.
Randall: Hello, Mrs. Collins. Do you remember me? I’m Randall Drew.
Angelique: Well, I don’t see how that information could be of any use to me.
Tomorrow: The Merry Widow.
Dark Shadows bloopers to watch out for:
Randall asks Barnabas, “Why do you think was the cause of Roxanne’s death?”
Barnabas answers, “Perhaps you should know that Mr. Trask has been in a very exceptionally, well, disturbed state. You see, she was engaged to Roxanne, but just before she died, she broke off her engagement.” Randall asks if he’s sure about this.
Samantha tells Angelique about Hortense’s dying words: “Something about… a strange, bodiless head!” Puzzled, Angelique echoes: “A bodiless head?” “Yes,” Samantha says, “I know it sounds absurd.” Hortense was killed by a headless body.
When Angelique enters the Old House, we see her waiting at the door for her cue to start walking in.
Angelique and Julia say the date 1970 a bunch of times, and then Angelique asks, “What was your relationship with him in 1971?”
Angelique asks Samantha, “Who was that young man standing at the grave beside Mr. Trask?” Samantha replies, “Do you mean Gerard Stiles?” Angelique met Gerard several episodes ago.
Behind the Scenes:
Randall mentions the Collins family lawyers, Thorndyke & Hanley — obviously the ancestor of Evan Hanley, who was the Collinses’ lawyer in 1897.
Tomorrow: The Merry Widow.
— Danny Horn