Episode 1063: Wonderwall

“If we’re never to find that out, we may never know.”

“Julia!” he exclaims. “Somewhere, in a room upstairs, someone, or some thing, is playing that music. Now, it can’t be very dangerous, because music is seldom used to frighten.”

Today is gonna be the day
That they’re gonna throw it back to you

By now you should’ve somehow
Realized what you gotta do

I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat, the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out

I’m sure you’ve heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt

I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don’t know how

Because maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me

And after all
You’re my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they’ll never throw it back to you

By now you should’ve somehow
Realized what you’re not to do

I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads that lead you there were winding

And all the lights that light the way are blinding

There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don’t know how

I said maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me

And after all
You’re my wonderwall

I said maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me

And after all
You’re my wonderwall

I said maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me

You’re gonna be the one that saves me

You’re gonna be the one that saves me

Tomorrow: Here Comes the Hotstepper.

Dark Shadows bloopers to watch out for:

At the top of act 1, there’s an awkward out-of-focus close-up on Carolyn, which may be the result of staying on the wrong camera.

Julia tells Barnabas, “We don’t want anyone investing-gating us, Barnabas.”

After Julia lights her candle, she shakes the match out and then drops it on the floor. It’s not a blooper, really; I’m just mentioning it because I love when they do that.

Barnabas tells Julia, “If I’m convinced of what I think is right in this house, no weapon could help us.”

Barnabas tells Julia, “Our presence here is the only way we can be sure to see what it is that’s here.”

At the beginning of Carolyn’s scene with the Sheriff, there are footsteps in the studio.

After Barnabas and Julia are chased out of Julia’s room, there are a lot of footsteps in the studio — and then a door closing, and running footsteps — before their entrance on the landing in the foyer.

When Barnabas tells the Sheriff that he could stay at the Old House, the Sheriff pauses noticeably and looks at the teleprompter.

Barnabas tells Julia, “Tonight may be the last time we can find out what destroyed Collinwood. If we’re never to find that out, we may never know, and never be able to get back to our own time.”

Carolyn tells the Sheriff that the portrait of Barnabas was painted in 1797. I can’t remember offhand when the portrait was supposed to be painted — do we ever see it, in the 1795 story? — but Barnabas died in January 1796.

The end credits are crooked.

Behind the Scenes:

This is the first appearance of James Storm as Gerard; he’ll be on the show until February. Before Dark Shadows, Storm had appeared on another ABC soap, One Life to Live, as Dr. Larry Wolek — a major character who was recast twice in six months. The original Larry was Paul Tulley, who appeared for a month. Then it was Jim’s turn for five months, and in December 1968, the character was badly burned in a fire. When the bandages came off, Larry was played by Jim’s brother Michael Storm, who stayed in the role until 2004.

The unnamed Sheriff is played by Don Crabtree, for three episodes. Crabtree didn’t appear on TV much — a couple more soap operas (The Edge of Night and Texas) and a bit part on The Equalizer. But he had a successful thirty-year career in Broadway musicals, starting with the original cast of Destry Rides Again in 1959. In the 1960s, he was in a bunch of short-run shows that I’m not familiar with, including The Happiest Girl in the World, Golden Boy and Pousse-Cafe. But then he got very busy starting in 1978 in the cast of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, which ran until 1982, and 42nd Street, which ran from 1980 to 1989.

Julia’s room is very recognizable as Maggie’s room in Parallel Time; we spent a lot of time in that room over the last few months.

Also, for your information, the day that this episode aired was also the last day for Dark Shadows knockoff Strange Paradise, which aired from September 1969 to July 1970. I know, nobody cares.

Tomorrow: Here Comes the Hotstepper.

Dark Shadows episode guide

— Danny Horn

47 thoughts on “Episode 1063: Wonderwall

  1. “Now it can’t be very dangerous, because music is seldom used to frighten.”

    He’s obviously never seen his own show.

    1. So true. Even as a kid, I remember reacting to that line. Huh??? Music has often been the creepiest thing on the show. Quentin’s Theme drifting through the west wing. Sarah singing London Bridge. Robert Cobert’s brilliant scores.

    2. This has to be the most hypocritical thing Barnabas Collins has ever said, and that is a brutal competition. He’s used that damn music box to haunt and destroy at least four young women at various times (literally!)

      How he keeps missing the lightning bolts being flung continually at his head by an exasperated They is his greatest power.

  2. That Oasis song, Wonderwall, I would always make fun of it: “You’re my Underalls…”

    Those Underalls commercials from the late seventies, from the beginnings of my sexual awakening:

    Pam Dawber from Mork and Mindy was in one:

    I wonder what Dark Shadows chicks I would have liked to have seen in those Underalls commercials… Vicki definitely, Angelique certainly, Maggie maybe,… a few of those Blue Whale dancers absolutely…

    “I don’t believe that anybody
    Feels the way I do, about you now…”

  3. “Now, it can’t be very dangerous, because music is seldom used to frighten.”

    Hang on Barnabas, I know you weren’t around for Ode for Angelique, but you yourself tormented Maggie with Josette’s music box, which also scared Lady Kitty Hampshire.

  4. As for 1797, the timeframe for the storyline was originally 1795. When it’s revisited around the mid 600’s it’s referred to as 1796, and now it’s 1797.

    1. Let’s also remember Carolyn isn’t in her right mind. Also, who gets dates right anyway if they’re not in history books. Years ago I was putting the photos in our family album in order and my mom could only guess on the years some pics were taken

      1. Carolyn draws all her historical knowledge directly from The Collins Family History, which rewrites itself every hour and moves erratically around her cottage.

  5. I really like gerard. He’s on my “List of the 5 DS Characters You’d Most Like to Have Dinner With.” My list includes Gerard, Roger, Barnabas, Willie and 1795 Rev. Trask.

    1. Shame he had to continue the theme of silent villains only voiced regularly when a trip to their own time is made. Imagine Jason McGuire and Gerard teaming up, they’d be fun together.

      1. Maybe Jason is one of Gerard’s descendants, carrying on the family tradition.
        I’ll never forget the first time I saw Gerard smile – I was lik yeah, he could steal my family fortune and I’d never notice! He’s a smooth operator – Jason could take lessons.

        1. Something they told us, when we were young.

          A great smile (excellent white teeth), opens doors.

          Today, that would cost me a fortune, all I have, practically.

          But… I’d LOVE to see, what James Storm’s teeth look like, NOW.

    2. Lord, not Trask. He’d take so long saying grace everything would be cold/stale by the time you got a bite.

    3. Interesting idea, this dinner thing. I don’t know, though. I’m not sure I’d want to be in the same room with most of these people. They’re so damn loud, for one thing.
      And Barnabas, I love him, of course, as everybody should, but not if he eats the way he talks.

  6. Not sure if they ever mentioned when the Barnabas portrait was painted. It might have been commissioned before the 1795-96 plotline. Barnabas could have sat for the artist well beforehand and delivered to Collinwood after he “left for England”. Joshua might have insisted it be hanged in the foyer. Obviously they don’t show it in the pre-Barnabas ’66-’67 era and the few times they show that part of the wall it’s not hanging there (maybe it was out for cleaning?)

    You bring up the nameless sheriff here and it reminds me that among the sillier things I pondered over the years was the fate of Sheriff Patterson. I figured he might have retired or went to work in Mt Pilot and maybe Deputy Davenport took over. Or Davenport won an election. But they never addressed who became sheriff after Zombie Davenport joined the ranks of Jeb’s MakeLeviathansGreatAgain crusade.

    This sheriff, records clerk Ed, and Victor Flagler were the few new characters introduced here in 1995. I thought it might have been interesting if Barnabas and Julia had run into younger versions of then once they returned to 1970.

      1. “D…Daddy, is that you?”


        “But, Daddy, you don’t… I mean, my Daddy…”

        “Shut up, kid. I’m your Daddy now. What say you go and get your old man a beer?”

  7. If this was reality (lol), it wouldn’t be unusual for Barnabas’ (or anyone else’s) portrait to circulate around the house. It would have to predate the 1795 timeline and may have even been in Barnabas’ room of the Old House. (Did he have a bedroom? I can’t remember.)

    I’ve not been looking ahead on the programs, but i recall that Gerard scared me more than other characters for some reason. He just looks evil in that pic.

    1. It’s very hard to think about Barnabas in a bed or in the shower and then fussing in the mirror (when it can reflect him) with those locks. He really seems like someone who lies down like that in a coffin and gets up again. Can he even dress himself? As an “eccentric millionaire,” he should really have Jeeves instead of Willie.

    2. They all had their portraits done, for the family histories. In the Old House of 1795, Barnabas’ room is first seen in episode 368/369, which is also Angelique’s first episode. In the drawing room, the portrait of Jeremiah hangs over the mantle. In Naomi’s room, it appears to be her portrait that hangs on the far wall. Barnabas’ portrait is not in his room. When Barnabas shows up to kill Nathan Forbes, his portrait is hanging in its usual place in the foyer at Collinwood.

    1. The ’67 Barnabas portrait is in the Old House, over the mantel. Slightly tilted.
      (I wonder why, as soon as a house is abandoned, all the pictures go askew?)

      1. The ghosts like playing “Knock The Portrait,” it’s one of their favorite games. Right up there with “Waltz Amongst The Pillars” and “Seaweed Hunt.”

  8. The first appearance of Gerard Stiles in the summer of 1970 when i was about to enter 7th grade has a profound and lasting effect on me.

  9. I have a dear friend who’s just enough older than me that she was one of the kids who ran home to catch Dark Shadows, and Gerard Stiles was her first TV crush. She still gets all swoony whenever I mention him or the show.

    I went to a DS Fest in Tarrytown a few years ago, and since we’re not that far away I tried to talk her into coming with me when I saw that James Storm was going to be there. But she just couldn’t get away.

    When I got to Storm’s table, he was so nice and sweet (and with noticeably nice teeth)! I was going to buy one of his head shots and get it autographed for my friend, but I saw that he had his own photography there for sale. My friend is a photographer by trade, but neither of us had any idea he was into photography himself. I couldn’t decide which of his pictures to buy, so I asked if he’d pick one out that had special meaning for him and sign it for my friend. He took a lot of time that he didn’t really have to, picking through everything he had before choosing one and telling me the story behind it. In addition to autographing it, he wrote my friend a whole note on the matte thanking her for watching the show and hoping he’d get to meet her at another festival.

    I was so impressed, and my friend was over the moon. Even though I enjoy his performance as cold-blooded Gerard, when I see him on screen I can’t help thinking of that super nice guy I met.

    1. Love Wonderwall as a theme song for B&J. Thank you Danny!

      And thank you, too, Melissa! I love the story/memory you shared. Very fun to think of Storm’s sweet nature while Stiles pulls one of hand those “purely evil” sneers. 😍👹

      Hmmm. Now my first TV crush, in the 80’s when I was about 7, was on the Pink Panther (cartoon character not the film character). He was so cool in those shades with his long cigarette and top hat … and pinkness. And he never said a word but always managed to convey his superiority with that slow, confident strut. So what if he was a panther. He was fully anthropomorphic and wiser than all other cartoon characters of the 80’s (and most humans in any era). Surely I was far from the only one who fell for him? (Wait what I am saying?! He still is so cool and I still kinda find him sexy).

  10. It’s been awhile, but I think my initial reaction to the spectre of Gerard was “Didn’t they do this with Quinitin?”.

  11. This is the episode where Barnabas tells the sheriff that Liz put the Old House in the name of “Barnabas Collins” late in the 1960s. Presumably that would be true- it would be so easy for the sheriff to walk to the office of the recorder of deeds that lying about it would be a dumber move than even Barnabas would be likely to make.

    1. It would also be very easy for the Sheriff to phone the “hotel in Bangor” to verify the IDs of Barnabas and Julia. But he can’t be bothered with pesky details like that!

      1. Maybe he does- after all, he winds up at Barnabas’ coffin with a stake and a hammer. Clearly he’s been conducting some kind of investigation when we couldn’t see him.

        1. It was Julia under the hypnotic control of Gerard who went and report the info on Barnabas secret. When Barnabas survived and realize that Julia wasn’t guarding him, he questioned her about the strange behavior she was displaying recently. She then broke down crying saying she was sorry for betraying him because the hold Gerard had on her was too strong.

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