Episode 830: The Book I Wrote

“There may be only one way of preventing tonight from happening.”

Last cliffhanger, Charity had a vision of Quentin’s death (stabbed or something — lots of blood on his chest). At beginning of this episode, she is wandering in the woods. Magda finds her and Charity says Quentin will die in 12 days — September 10. Reverend Trask comes home and finds that while Edward + Jameson have been cured, Charity is still possessed. She says she’ll kill anyone who comes between her and Quentin. Trask asks Magda to watch Charity. Quentin realizes there’s a full moon that night and he tells Magda he’s going to stop the change.

Or, at least, that’s what happens in today’s episode according to the original version of Dark Shadows Every Day, which I started in a school notebook when I was fifteen. I might have chosen my words more carefully if I’d known that I was going to show it to people thirty years later. Also, I apparently didn’t know how to spell Jamison.

830 dark shadows notebook start

So, the curtain rises on Young Danny, in the early evening of February 26, 1986, scribbling notes on the first page of my Dark Shadows diary. This was my analog version of a blog, which I wrote faithfully every day for the next eight months, until New Jersey Network tragically pulled the show from their schedule, just as Parallel Time was starting to get good.

Coincidentally, the day that I’m writing this post is almost exactly thirty years after I started the notebook; that anniversary is only five days away. And thirty years on, I’m still taking notes all the time, about almost everything. I have a terrible memory for names and dates and people and locations and pretty much anything that’s ever happened to me. The only way I can keep my life vaguely functional is through an elaborate system of notes and reminders and written records. In a pinch, I write on my hand. Memento is basically a home movie for me.

But I remember why I started keeping this notebook. In yesterday’s episode, Charity had a vision that Quentin would die on September 10th. After months of entertaining detours, the writers are signaling that they’re heading for the long-delayed climax of the 1897 storyline — the day that Quentin is sealed up in his room, waiting like an angry pharoah to be discovered by unwary tomb-raiders.

Obviously, I wanted to know how long Quentin had left — I absolutely adored the guy, and I was hoping that somehow he’d manage to avert his fate, and stay on the show. Naturally, the only way to know when Quentin would die was to write down everything that happened on the show, keeping track of Collinsport’s sunrises and sunsets, so that I could figure out how many episodes it would take for twelve days to pass.

830 dark shadows wiki bloopers

Now that I’m older and wiser, of course, I understand that that’s not how time works on soap operas. The broadcast date is also the in-universe date on the show, even if the same night goes on for three episodes.

The producers don’t expect people to write down everything that happens in every episode of a daytime soap, so that they can keep track of what day the episode is set. That would be an insane thing for somebody in the audience to do. They established that it was August 28, 1897 because that episode aired on August 28, 1969 — and when Charity said that Quentin would die on September 10th, she meant the episode airing on September 10, 1969.

But there’s a time jump in the way — from Charity in August 1969, to Young Danny in February 1986. The ’69 audience knew that September 10th was 12 days away, so they understood Dark Shadows in a way that Young Danny didn’t. They also knew about Woodstock and Vietnam and the moon landing and the Doors. Young Danny didn’t really know any of that context; he didn’t even pay that much attention to what was happening in 1986. Who has time to attend to current events, when you have to update a daily dossier on your vampire soap opera?

830 dark shadows charity magda tree

So this notebook is a little window into what it was like the first time I watched these episodes, with no idea what was coming up. I didn’t have a Dark Shadows Wiki at the time; all of the information that I had about Dark Shadows was from fan-published zines, and I only had a couple of those. So I knew some cryptic names — Leviathan, Parallel Time, Nicholas Blair — but nothing else.

Thirty years later, I can rattle off the name of every major storyline, because I’ve seen it all. I have a DVD box set and several episode guides, and looking at today’s episode, I know where things are headed. But Young Danny had no idea — for him, the story could go anywhere. He was watching Dark Shadows like the teenagers in 1969, with no idea who would survive any given episode. I’m just a time travelling fraud, pretending to walk in his footsteps. Young Danny was the one actually watching Dark Shadows every day.

And he hated Charity Trask. The bulk of the notebook is a straight description of what happened in each scene, all the way down to marking where the commercial cliffhangers were. I wasn’t doing avant-garde pretentious lit-crit analysis; it was just a homemade episode guide. But there are some places where I allowed myself some editorial license, like in the general storyline notes that I wrote at the bottom of my first entry:

Charity has tried to kill 2 people so far: she poisoned Beth, who was saved by Magda’s gypsy herbs, and she attacked Quentin with a knife but she was subdued by Quentin and Edward.

Angelique wants Quentin to marry her. She recently cured Edward + Jameson from their possession, much to the dismay of Count Petofi. Quentin agreed to marry her within the month. Charity knows this and probably wants to kill Angelique. (The little homicidal…)

So, wow — I was really mad at Charity! A few episodes later, I wrote: “Charity leaves. As she goes, she says Amanda will be so unhappy she’ll be sorry she stayed. Charity goes out the door. (Forever, hopefully.)”

Thirty years later, I love Charity, in her new role as crackpot Cockney showgirl. Charity is hilarious, and really fun to watch. I don’t think she ever has a bad scene; at this point, it’s not even possible to have a bad Charity scene. As far as I can tell, this opinion is universally shared among all Dark Shadows viewers. But in 1986, I couldn’t wait for her to go.

830 dark shadows quentin charity trask

Young Danny hated Charity because she’d tried to kill Quentin, and she might try to kill Angelique. And if she succeeded, then I’d never see Quentin or Angelique ever again, and that would be insupportable.

Like pretty much everyone else who watches the 1897 storyline, from 1969 to 1986 to 2016 and beyond, I was, am and will always be deeply in love with Quentin Collins. When I was fifteen, he had taken his proper place in my schoolboy pantheon of the kind of dude I wanted to fall in love with. So sexy and funny and sarcastic and wounded and all-round seductive — everybody wanted Quentin, from servants to showgirls, from warlocks to witches. Nephews loved him, and mad gods battled with time-hopping vampires for the pleasure of his company. This period of the show is probably the high point of the universal wantability of Quentin.

But Quentin was not guaranteed, as far as I knew. The first thing that we ever knew about Quentin was that he was dead — the lonely ghost, hidden away in the west wing like the terrible secret that he is. And for this entire journey into the past, Barnabas’ sole mission has been to discover the time and the manner of Quentin’s death. That irreversible fact has hung over the show for six months now, and it looks like we’re finally leading up to the moment that we lose Quentin forever.

So obviously I hated Charity. Watching the show now, I know that she’s more or less harmless fun, a little fireworks show that sets herself off every time she walks on set. The only irreversible fact about Quentin is that Dark Shadows will never let him go — after this, David Selby plays three more characters on the show, and all of them are named Quentin. But at the time — for me, and maybe other kids in those innocent days — Charity was a threat.

830 dark shadows amanda quentin

Young Danny was also super into Beth, for basically the mirror image reason. Quentin said that he loved Beth, and even if that was never quite one hundred percent true, I believed it completely. I guess I wanted Quentin to be faithful to somebody to support whatever Quentin boyfriend fantasy I had going in my head.

So I stuck up for Beth when I could, like when Quentin meets Amanda in a couple days:

Amanda calls Tim and says she doesn’t want to stay. Then Quentin comes in and meets her. He is obviously romantically interested. Uh-oh! What about Beth, you jerk?

I even added a corrective footnote on an episode coming up next week:

Angelique says Quentin’s been avoiding Beth lately because he’s going to marry Angelique. Beth is very upset and runs out. (NOTE: Quentin does love Beth. He’s only marrying Angelique because she said she would take the curse off of Edward and Jameson if he did. He had to agree.)

And there’s a particularly strong, if confused, reaction a week after that:

Quentin asks what Amanda’s doing, but she can’t explain. He wants her to meet him tomorrow night in the garden. (SLIME! WHAT ABOUT BETH?) (Then again, she tried to kill him yesterday, so he really has little obligation to her.)

Finding that in one of these diary entries — shouting paranthetical abuse to a fictional character, in all caps and underlined — makes me realize how distant I am, from that fifteen-year-old boy.

I’ve seen that kind of thing recently, in comments on this blog — somebody shouting at a character DIE ANGELIQUE BITCHARD DIE! — which isn’t very far from my SLIME! attack. Don’t bother looking for that comment now — I deleted it, because it’s a bit creepy and I wanted to protect the blog’s well-deserved reputation for Best Comments Section on the Internet, and also because maybe it hits a bit close to home. That was how I used to think about the show too, and this notebook gives me an embarrassingly direct sightline into my immature sensibilities.

830 dark shadows jamison credit

The most surprising thing about these early notebook entries is that I didn’t know how to spell Jamison. That seems almost impossible to me, because it’s the kind of thing I’m usually really picky about, and they broadcast the correct spelling in my direction at the end of every episode.

But I wasn’t paying attention to the end credits yet. That would come in a couple months, and this notebook allows me to pinpoint the exact episode I was watching when I started paying attention to the writers. These entries get more elaborate as they go on, with more descriptions and quotes, and for one episode coming up I wrote down a page and a half of dialogue excerpts. After a while, I was noting interesting bloopers, and finally — about two months from here — I finished the entry with “This was a good episode, written by Sam Hall.”

So that’s another piece of this story for me. This blog is the story of Dark Shadows, both the on-screen story and the production history, and it’s also about soap operas and television and teenagers and the 1960s and a whole bunch of things. But it’s also a story about me, as one of those teenagers, watching a vampire soap opera every day, and loving it so much that I wanted to learn how it worked.

For Young Danny, there’s two months between “What about Beth, you jerk?” and “This was a good episode, written by Sam Hall”. I think that transition is the moment where I learned how to watch television, and think critically about what I’m watching.

You know what? I think I just figured out the exact day that I grew up. Or as grown-up as someone who watches Dark Shadows ever gets, I suppose.

Monday: Crash of the Kaiju.

Dark Shadows bloopers to watch out for:

When Magda and Trask are talking about Charity, Magda says, “Maybe you should bring her back to the sanitarium.” Charity’s never been to the sanitarium, so she can’t go back.

Quentin tells Magda that there’s going to be a full moon tonight, but it already appears to be night. Several minutes earlier, Trask returned home and said, “Good evening, Quentin.”

There’s a tape edit during Tessie’s appearance to Quentin, apparently cutting out a good chunk of the scene. She only gets one line, and then she’s suddenly gone. Maybe they decided that her clawed-up face looked too scary for daytime TV?

Monday: Crash of the Kaiju.

830 dark shadows cliffhanger

Dark Shadows episode guide

— Danny Horn

27 thoughts on “Episode 830: The Book I Wrote

  1. I was super into Beth the first time that I saw the show too; I guess that I identified with her in my adolescent fantasies because she wasn’t drop dead gorgeous like Lara Parker or Kathryn Scott, and yet she had caught the eye of the handsomest man in the house. Viewing the show as an adult, a decade later, I realized that Beth was a doormat and Quentin was a lecherous jerk, but such are the daydreams of awkward, naive young girls.

  2. I recall making that transition, as well, from when DARK SHADOWS was this wonderful world that my mother and I visited before dinner to when I was aware of the show as a creative effort (noting Sam Hall and Violet Welles).

    But there is something magical about “What about Beth, you jerk?” It’s wonderful when viewers believe in the reality of a show and its characters. Of course, it veers into the DIE ANGELIQUE DIE! area when you watch reality TV or sadly read political threads.

  3. I think what’s interesting about the emotional reactions to the show is that they change there tone the more involved you get. The conflict stops making you angry and starts being what you’re hoping for- which I guess really lays the ground for how this villain run show came to be. It really surprises me when I hear some of these direct reactions from family members who wander in and out while I’m watching. Sometimes they get really shocked by the insane levels of bad behavior on display in our protagonists and antiheroes. It’s kind of hard to explain that we are rooting for the story progression and character development – not a positive outcome. I suppose that’s what Angelique, Quentin, and Petofi all have going for them- they all know what show their on. As Quentin says “everyone expects me to be bad”.

    1. The introspection in today’s post, and your response, has made me realize that my decades-long fascination with antagonists and villains probably stems from all the years I spent so deeply invested in these characters, cheering them on despite the dubious morality of their actions. Dark Shadows taught me that good character development and relevant context can bring the viewer/reader to sympathize with and excuse otherwise inappropriate behavior.

    2. You might consider how this “adopt the viewpoint of the villain” shows in new shows. Like “Suits” where they are trying a character for pretending to be a lawyer, and his associates for covering up for him. Well, he is guilty, but we are made to see the prosecuting attorney as a villain, and we hope they beat the rap, no matter how many laws they have to break to do it. Now they are going for jury tampering….

      1. I actually quit Suits because I simply can’t sympathize with Mike, or Harvey or Jessica. I left before Louis found out, because he was my favorite character and it was obvious that when he found out he would become part of the conspiracy and I knew I would hate that. I was a law librarian for a lot of years, so all I can see is that they are cheating their clients every time they bill Mike’s hours at the rate for an attorney. They can’t go far enough back into the past to erase my distaste for that storyline.

      2. I know, they are NOT nice people. But they manage to get the viewers on their side. Same as Barnabas and Quentin….

        1. It’s funny-
          I’ve noticed I don’t really click with a lot of the recent attempts to make anti heroes in modern television- then again I often have trouble with the heroes. Part of it may be that we’re supposed to take it seriously and modern shows veer away from theatricality and try to be as gritty as possible. The tone of what is happening is really key to our reactions.
          It’s like Evil Dead 2 v.s. Witch finder general, similar content perhaps but vastly different feel. And these shows tend to make every character act as if they believe everything they are doing is good- and seem to think that alone will sway our sympathy and support- and that this is somehow instantly more intelligent and deep. It’s like the broody teenager desperate to be taken seriously.
          What I like about dark shadows is the fact that every bit of it is there to remind us that we’re playing, that we are in on the joke and we can just relax and cheer on the pandemonium to come.

    3. So many of the other mundane soaps have had way more despicable behavior than anything in Dark Shadows. Vivian Alemain literally did bury a character alive, six feet under on Days.

      Justine Duvalier imprisoned Rachel and took her place on AW, then pulled a Cask of Amontillado on Vicky Hudson, and then when she got knocked off a train and lost a hand, the story got all Grand Guignol with Justine trying to kill Rachel’s husband Carl until Carl nailed her with a letter opener in her back. Hell, Rue MacLanahan (the Golden Girl, not sure I got the spelling right!), back in the very early 1970s, stole the baby twins Michael and Mary Anne from Pat Randolph (pretty sure she was their mom, it’s been years) to raise as her own because she couldn’t have children. There’s also Janice Frame, who was slowly poisoning Mac, who she stole from Rachel so she could get his money and Rachel struggled with her and killed her in a swimming pool. All on Another World.

      Not to mention all of the misogynist serial killer storylines sprinkled through all of the soaps at various times, most perpetrated by Margaret DePriest, aka Maggie DeBeast, one of the most women-hating female head writers in soap history. Only the “pure” women escaped her serial killers! However, Lisa Grady, played by the 1991 DS reboot’s Joanna Going, was kidnapped by a purity-oriented serial killer to “keep her pure” (just a couple years before the reboot). IMO, the serial killer storylines were far more horrifying and damaging to real women viewers than any of the cartoon melodrama violence of DS! “Let’s make all women afraid to leave their homes by themselves or they will be abducted from a mall parking lot, raped, and killed by a local serial killer so that they will keep in their place.” Days had a habit of every time a woman asserted herself and went somewhere her male partner told her not to go, she would be punished with kidnapping, rape, or any number of other punishments. Every single time so that it was totally predictable. Way more violence against women happened on all the other soaps than happened on DS, adjusted for time on the air.

      DS is a kiddie show in comparison to all the other soaps! However, it is like watching Titus Andronicus, as every character is despicable in some way, with very few exceptions! 🙂

  4. If I’m not mistaken, tomorrow’s episode contains my all-time favorite DS scene and line. I’m so excited! Can you guess what it is, Danny?

    P.S. – If you ignore it, I’ll be pissed. 😉 But, don’t worry, I’ll be sure to talk about it in the comments section, regardless.

  5. P.P.S. – I may be some kind of exception, but I always liked Quentin better as a silent, sinister ghost than as a living, breathing human being. And he started boring me completely soon after the end of the 1897 storyline. Then again, Quentin’s haunting of Collinwood in the present is my single favorite DS storyline.

    1. This recent rewatch has me viewing them as two separate characters. The Quentin who haunted Collinwood is one I could imagine filling Evan Hanley’s place as the Satanist who help Trask kill his wife so he could remarry and then drive his new wife crazy.

      1. Now that you mention it, in a very real sense they are two separate characters. Ghost Quentin is pre-Barnabas’s interference with history, whereas 1897 Quentin is the one who emerged following Barnabas’s i-Ching journey back in time. To be sure, Quentin’s no saint, but the events that turned him into a vengeful spirit were prevented from taking place, so he survives and becomes a better man.

        1. The problem is when Barnabas returns to the present time, they still remember Quentin’s ghost haunting when it should have been erased from history.

          1. Yeah, it would be much better if the Leviathan storyline with Barnabas and Julia being the only ones who had gone through the haunting of Quentin, and everyone else had gone through different events (leading to the Leviathans getting there) and Julia and Barnabas have to catch up on what happened then, and why everything is so strange to them (the way they did it in Eureka)

  6. »»That would be an insane thing for somebody in the audience to do.««
    And yet, so many of us do it, and continue to do it even as we realise it is an utterly insane thing to do.

    I’m jealous of your penmanship in the journal. I can read very little of what I wrote when I was 15, unless I took the time to re-type it later.

  7. If it’s any consolation, I still can’t spell Jamison — whenever I type it out it’s with an “e” and I have to Google it to see if it’s wrong.

    I watch the show in a certain way because of when I started watching it, which was 1969 or so, and because of how young I was at the time, which was 3. Because I couldn’t really understand the adult storylines, the show was primarily a visual experience for me, where I would focus on certain things, like the contours around Joan Bennett’s mouth (I just had to Google the name because I still can’t spell Bennett, which I always spell with one “t”), the furniture in the Collinwood drawing room, the big ball of reddish hair that Chris Pennock had, things like that.

    To this day, that is still how I watch the show — as a primarily visual experience. That’s why I don’t comment so much on the story, because I take it for what it is, a bit of television theater, but instead spend most of my time commenting on the props and the sets as they are redesigned — because my eyes are all over the place, randomly going from here to there, not always so much focused solely on the characters, and because there are always so many interesting things to look at, just a world unto itself. And you know what — it is indeed. The times themselves, the burning issues of the day, never so rudely intruded. That’s one of the reasons why it remains so fresh, and will remain, for anyone who becomes a fan or for anyone like myself who is an original viewer. It’s a world unto itself.

    1. I was a few years older than you, PrisoneroftheNight, when I watched the original series in 1969, but the visuals struck me as fascinating, too. Count Petofi’s glasses were amazing! I wonder now if Thayer David could actually see out of those things, and if he wore contact lenses most of his career. Rewatching the show now, I’ve rediscovered the familiarity of the foyer at Collinwood, a liminal space that saw more drama than have the majority of entrance halls in American mansions.

      1. Yes, definitely, the Collinwood foyer. Those stained glass windows atop the landing are emblazoned on my memory forever, as something practically iconic, as imprinted among my earliest of visual life recollections, so much so that viewing these episodes brings a sense almost of… going home.

  8. About falling in love with Quentin — nope — he had 2 angles — either screeching about something or playing drunk and abusive. Any of Briscoe will always be my crush. One thing about Beth — Terri Crawford (I can’t recall the episode) faints so elegantly — flawlessly, soundlessly to the floor — unlike Angelique who tended to thump almost face forward. Also her costume for her role reminds me of drawings by illustrator Edward Gorey with her wasp-like waste and broad bodice. Loved her — wish she acted more, but oddly, if you look at her she slightly resembles Sharon Tate and I think that might have influenced her chances of moving forward in her acting career.

    1. Crawford’s faint happens as a result of Charity/Pansy poisoning the brandy. As a person who has performed a swoon on stage, I must say that faint was amazing. I’m not sure how she managed it so silently and smoothly. I’m impressed!

  9. The moon does not alway appear when night falls … for instance tomorrow it rises at 1:01 am. Not that Dark Shadows is very scientific about the moon, what with having at least 3 full moons a month.

  10. In terms of extreme audience emotional investment in a soap, not too much compares to how popular “All My Children” was at the NIU Student Union in DeKalb in the early 90’s. The Student Union had two TV’s and both were set to “AMC.” Days did not have a chance! Whole communities of people would line up to eat their lunch and cheer “AMC” and shout at the TV, if we felt like it. (Later when I tried to do the same thing at UW-Madison’s Student Union TV in the Rathskeller, people looked at me like I was from another planet. Nobody talked back to the TV/”AMC” in Wisconsin – it was just too gauche.) Of course, AMC was in a glory-days phase when some pretty extreme storylines were building to a crescendo – especially during Natalie’s evil sister Janet throwing Natalie down a well and assuming Natalie’s identity (both Janet and Natalie being played by the incomparable Kate Collins) and I will never forget when “Janet’ finally tried to hold Haley (Kelly Ripa) hostage and a SWAT team was called in — some joker tried to change the channel, and we all screamed at him. Of course, we were all screaming for Haley to escape. Then AMC really built some great story about the return of Tad (Michael E. Knight) who had amnesia after falling off a bridge – but being assumed dead by everyone on the show – and figuring out when would our returned Tad finally meet Dixie — those were don’t miss days, and yes, emotional investment, engagement and talking back to the TV – I totally get it. It was our very public “What about Beth, you jerk?” moments – but about about our investment in another show, now very sadly gone from the TV soap landscape. …

  11. Combining “critical thinking” and Dark Shadows! Who would have thought about that in 1969? We may have theorized about what was going to happen, but having actually watched it for a couple years, I think we knew that was useless. It was probably more along the lines of, “I hope they don’t kill Quentin off for real.”
    The idea of dissecting or analyzing or even trying to have it make actual sense never crossed my mind.
    Watching this after a gap of over 50 years I find that it’s the characters that I remember more than the plots. Magda, Quentin, Petofi and Pansy Faye are memorable. Most of what happened has faded from my memory. I’m glad because it means Dark Shadows can still occasionally surprise me.

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