Episode 532/533: In Darkest Hour

“If I had known you were going to pursue your usual nonsense, I would never have come downstairs.”

Okay, there’s just one more week of the Dream Curse, one of the most tedious storylines in all of Dark Shadows. When I started this blog, I knew that the Dream Curse was going to be a hard period to work through. The problem for me isn’t really that the episodes are bad — some of my best entries are for bad episodes — it’s that they’re so repetitive. There are only so many ways that you can talk about a three-month storyline where exactly nothing happens.

But soap operas are resilient beasts; they rise on stepping-stones of their dead selves to higher and better things. Probably. I’m pretty sure we’ll get to cool stuff at some point.

So here we are, in the darkest hour, fidgeting and waiting impatiently for the dawn. But what the hell. Let’s have some fun.

532 dark shadows maggie tie

For starters: Maggie’s tie.

The episode begins with Maggie waiting anxiously for Joe to return. He went out last night to hunt for Adam, the local Frankenstein, and he didn’t come back. She’s decided to express her feelings by wearing a yellow shirt, a burgundy vest and skirt, and a burgundy tie dotted with bright flowers.

It’s a fantastic outfit; you can always count on Maggie to bring some fashion-forward magic to the proceedings. With that on screen, I don’t even mind if they talk about the Dream Curse.

532 dark shadows maggie vicki phone

Happily, their dream discussion is cut short by a phone call, informing Maggie that Joe is in the hospital, after a fight with Adam left him with a concussion.

So now Maggie has to leave her house and go to the hospital, with this outfit on. Also, her father died three weeks ago. It’s called style.

532 dark shadows joe hospital

So it’s off to the hospital, where they’ve arranged Joe tastefully on a bed.

The latest guy to call himself Sheriff Patterson shows up, to ask Joe about his Adam encounter. This leads to the usual mandatory recap-interrogation scene that’s required on soap operas following any given event. I’m not a fan of these, but there’s actually a lot going on these days, and I can’t blane them for trying to keep the audience informed. Besides, they’re not talking about the Dream Curse.

532 dark shadows maggie sheriff

Joe says that he encountered Adam at Professor Stokes’ house, so Sheriff Patterson decides to pay Stokes a visit.

“He better have some pretty convincing answers,” the Sheriff says, “or he’s in bad trouble.”

A little later on, Patterson comes back to report that Stokes had some pretty convincing answers. Honestly, the cops on this show set new records for uselessness every time they appear.

532 dark shadows barnabas nicholas padding

Really, there’s quite a bit of padding overall. The other story thread today involves Barnabas coming to Collinwood to talk to Cassandra, but before that gets going, he has to have a scene with Nicholas first. There’s a little back and forth about how early it is for a visit, and then we have to come back later for the actual Barnabas/Cassandra conversation.

Still, putting Nicholas on screen automatically makes things more interesting. He’s been on the show for two weeks, and so far he hasn’t had a bad scene. He’s cooking up some kind of mysterious demonic plan with Cassandra, but we haven’t had any substantial hints about what it might be. We’re kind of in the honeymoon phase with this storyline, where it’s all shiny promise.

532 dark shadows cassandra barnabas again

Anyway, Barnabas finally gets some time alone with Cassandra, and we go through another iteration of her weird impostor game. Barnabas knows that she’s Angelique, and the audience knows that she’s Angelique, and Cassandra knows that everybody knows that she’s Angelique, but she still insists on pretending that she’s not Angelique, even when nobody else is around.

The problem with this approach is that Barnabas and Angelique have an interesting history together, while Barnabas and “Cassandra” are basically strangers with nothing to say to each other. I mean, if the villain still won’t admit that she’s the villain, then at a certain point you just have to take her word for it, and go find somebody else to threaten.

532 dark shadows barnabas cassandra backacting

But today, Barnabas cuts through the irrelevant chatter. He has something to say.

Barnabas:  You probably know that Vicki has had the dream — but you don’t know her as I do. She is not going to come running and tell me the dream. Her strength of character and her feeling for me will not allow it. Therefore, she will probably go on suffering the effects of the dream, day after day and night after night… and I will not allow that to happen to her. So I am willing to submit to you.

532 dark shadows barnabas love

So that’s — wait, what?

Barnabas:  It is I you have always wanted. You may have me. I give you my solemn word that I will always try to be what I was to you in the beginning, in Martinique. If you stop Vicki’s suffering… I will do everything in my power to love you, and to be faithful to you for all time.

He tells her to think it over, and then he leaves. Like a boss.

532 dark shadows cassandra wow

So, holy cow. I really didn’t see that one coming. He’s been so angry and frustrated over the last few months, struggling fruitlessly against an antagonist who has simply refused to play.

Now he’s finally found the magic words that could break through to her, and there’s no signal to the audience that would suggest that this is a trick. We’re getting to the end of the storyline, which means that a big change is actually possible. He might really go through with this.

532 dark shadows cassandra nicholas years

And here comes Nicholas, the one-man television improvement project.

Cassandra:  Nicholas, I’ve won. After all these years, I’ve finally won.

Nicholas:  Won what?

Cassandra:  Barnabas.

Nicholas:  Perhaps you’d better tell me what he wanted to talk to you about this morning.

Cassandra:  He came here to admit defeat. He said he wouldn’t fight me anymore. He promised to love me, and be faithful to me.

Nicholas:  And so you feel it is no longer necessary to go on with the dream, is that it?

532 dark shadows nicholas cassandra quiet

Things heat up quickly.

Nicholas:  I helped you return for only one reason, to get your revenge. And now what happened? You get one step away from complete success, and suddenly you revert to the basest human reactions — you begin cooing at the first sound of a long-lost love!

Cassandra:  Nicholas, please —

Nicholas:  Be QUIET! An alliance between you and Barnabas Collins is out of the question. You have a job to do, and you will see it through to the end. Is that quite clear?

And no, it isn’t clear, thank goodness. It’s better than clear; it’s mysterious and complicated, and it points toward a decent exit strategy to escape this storyline quicksand. Everybody — grab hold of Maggie’s tie! She can pull us to safety.

Tomorrow: The Scene of the Crime.

Dark Shadows bloopers to watch out for:

Near the start of act 1, when Maggie and Vicki are talking about the dream, there’s the noise of something heavy scraping across the floor from the studio.

Vicki coughs in the middle of her line: “I have to tell the dream to Barnabas.”

Just after that, Maggie says, “I know that, Vicki, but if you just –” Her line is supposed to be cut off by the phone ringing, but it’s a second late. She mutters again, “If you just, uh…” and then the phone rings.

The final music cue in act 1 is played a little too late; it cuts off as the commercial break starts.

As Barnabas crosses the Collinwood foyer to meet Cassandra by the stairs, you can see a camera swinging around on the left side of the screen.

When Barnabas tells Cassandra, “So I am willing to submit to you,” a chair scrapes on the studio floor.

Barnabas is in the Collinwood drawing room, talking to Cassandra. He says, “If and when you have reached a decision, you will find at Collinwood. In the Old House.”

Behind the Scenes:

Dark Shadows was pre-empted about four weeks ago, for coverage of Robert F. Kennedy’s assassination. Since then, the episode numbers were knocked out of their usual pattern of ending on multiples of 5. Today’s episode has a double number — 532/533 — to make up for the missing day.

Tomorrow: The Scene of the Crime.

532 dark shadows maggie fashion

Dark Shadows episode guide

— Danny Horn

20 thoughts on “Episode 532/533: In Darkest Hour

  1. Maggie has made some unusual fashion choices during her Dark Shadows run. I wonder if the actresses had options as to what they could wear on the show. Didn’t Kathryn Leigh Scott have her wardrobe furnished by ‘Junior Sophisticates’ later in the series while the rest of the cast was still being outfitted by Ohrbachs?

  2. That is a pretty festive outfit for someone mourning their father and up all night worrying about her boyfriend.
    I wonder if they considered instead of having rotating Sheriff Pattersons (because we won’t notice the different face, but MIGHT notice a different name) having sheriff constantly quit out of frustration and being replaced. It would be story filler & could work up to a funny gag.
    It was completely out of left field for Barnabas to give up, but how would that even work with her being Roger’s wife & all. And…not to be nitpicky…but wasn’t “what he was in Martinique” basically him using her for sex until a well endowed…dowry happened by?

  3. Also….Barnabas, trying to submit, in order to save Vicki, was just pandering to the female audience, who were rooting for Barney to stay good.

    It worked.

    Because the execution of the Dream Curse was a nightmare, by comparison.

    When DS was BS.

    Not the first time, the writers made bad choices.

    If only Violet Welles was around, then…….

  4. I know going after Victoria and Alexandra Moltke is great sport on here, but I really liked her confrontation with Cassandra near the end of the episode.

    We haven’t seen Vicki this feisty since The Phoenix storyline.

    1. I strongly agree. Something about that clock seemed to bring out the best in Alexandra Moltke Isles; several of the finest moments in her last hundred episodes took place with it in the background.

  5. Maybe Collinsport is too cheap to buy new nametags for their sheriffs, so they just keep finding guys named ‘Patterson’ for the job. Or else it’s in the contract that they have to change their name to ‘Patterson’.

  6. I always thought the Dream Curse idea itself was clever, quite scary in a campfire-ghost-story kind of motif…but agree it’s been badly bungled here. On DS it’s more akin to the supervillain that leaves the Caped Crusader alone in an easily inescapable situation & just presumes it did him in until he reappears to save the day.

  7. Another blooper from Nicholas – You get one step away from complete success, and suddenly you revert to the “basest” human reactions.

    I’m sure the word is “basic.”

    1. Nah, he means “basest.” To be “base” means low or lacking in a higher quality. So the ‘basest” human reactions are just too, too low for a powerful, inhuman witch or warlock to feel. 🙂

  8. Not only is Maggie looking fabulous in that supercool outfit but she’s doing in at 6:00 AM! Her outfit and Barnabas’s crushed velvet (or velour?) smoking jacket from a couple of episodes ago almost save the week from the Dream Curse. Almost.

    Note to Cassandralique: Your SO made that same promise about being loving and faithful back in 1795 and you ended up with a bullet in your shoulder. Consider yourself warned.

    And while we’re giving fashion kudos let’s note that Vicki looked great in that black dress at the end.

  9. Poor Barnabas! He was willing to suffer the agony of being Angelique’s love doll. What torture to have the most beautiful woman in Colinsport love you.

    I would have loved to have watched a television series based on the bewitching hijinks that would have ensued! It would have been nice to have seen a crossover with Bewitched. Just imagine Angelique, Cassandra, Serena, and Samantha singing:

    Samantha’s immortal “The Iff’n Song”

    Serena’s classic “I’ll Blow You a Kiss in the Wind”

    and perhaps a couple of Dark Shadows originals

    “The Barnabas Song”
    I am Barnabas and I’m alright.
    I sleep all day and suck all night.
    I beat Willie. I walled Trask up,
    I went to the cemet’ry
    One day I beat dear Adam,
    my conscience bothers me!

    and maybe even:

    Angelique ,lique, lique
    Please don’t anger me today.
    I’ve had to cast away..
    I cursed Barnabas Collins.
    He deserved it for his sins
    He deserved it for his sins

    (Oh-oh……They’re coming to take me away!)

  10. And now Angelique is wearing red, much the same color as Maggie’s outfit at the beginning of the episode, signifying a shift to good guy status.

  11. Did it bother anyone else that Vicky is going on about the dream while Maggie’s fiancé is missing? it annoyed the hell out of me.

  12. Maggie’s outfit is freaking cute as crap, and for once, Cassandra looks yummy in that red dress. No muumuus today. Yay!

  13. I love Maggie’s groovy burgundy flower power tie. Kathryn Leigh Scott is so beautiful, it’s hard to believe Dan Curtis first envisioned her as a hard-boiled Eve Arden type in a cheap blonde wig.

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