Episode 852: Who’s Afraid of Violet Welles?

“We have both faltered, Edward, and a mad child has finally done our work for us.”

Kitty:  Ah! Good evening, Edward.

Edward:  Good evening, Kitty.

Kitty:  What a dump!

(Edward ignores her.)

Kitty:  Hey, what’s that from? “What a dump!”

Edward:  How would I know?

Kitty:  Oh, come on, what’s it from? You know. What’s it from, for Chrissake!

Edward:  What’s what from?

Kitty:  I just told you. I just did it. “What a dump!” Huh? What’s that from?

Edward:  I haven’t the faintest idea.

Kitty:  Dumbbell. It’s from some damn Bette Davis picture, some goddamn Warner Brothers epic.

Edward:  Kitty, I can’t remember all the pictures that came out of Warner Brothers.

Kitty:  I’m not asking you to remember every goddamn Warner Brothers epic. Just one. Just one single little epic, that’s all.

851 dark shadows quentin angelique kill

Quentin:  What do you know about Amanda?

Angelique:  That you think you’re in love with her.

Quentin:  I don’t think, I know it!

Angelique:  Well, isn’t that a little inconvenient, when you’re going to marry me?

Quentin:  Angelique… I tried very hard to care about you, and I would have gone through with our bargain, I really would have — if I hadn’t met Amanda.

Angelique:  I wouldn’t get on that train if I were you.

Quentin:  What are you going to do, kill me? That’s a laugh.

Angelique:  You’re looking for a punch in the mouth, you know that?

852 dark shadows quentin angelique detest

Quentin:  Don’t touch me.

Angelique:  Why not? We’re engaged. And we’re going to be married! And then you can get on any train you like, with me.

Quentin:  I’m not going anywhere with you.

Angelique:  Yes, you are. You’re going back to Collinwood, and plan our wedding day!

Quentin:  Doesn’t it bother you that I detest you?

Angelique:  Yes, of course it bothers me. But you’ll get over that.

852 dark shadows kitty edward watching

Kitty:  I know that I wasn’t alone. Someone… watching me. Watching every move I made, and never took their eyes off me!

Edward:  Oh, it must have been some stranger, who took a wrong turn!

Kitty:  No, it was no stranger! I have a feeling that it was someone who knew me — knew me very well.

Edward:  How very curious!

852 dark shadows kitty angelique kids

Kitty:  Who is that?

Edward:  It’s Quentin’s fiancee, Miss DuBois. Come on in, kids. Just hand your coat and stuff to ol’ sourpuss here.

Quentin:  Perhaps we shouldn’t have come.

Angelique:  Yes, yes, it is late, and —

Edward:  Late! Are you kidding? Just throw your stuff down any place, and come on in.

Kitty:  YOU! You were in the woods watching me; you’ve always watched me! Always spied on me! Well, you won’t spy on me anymore!

852 dark shadows kitty angelique choke

(Kitty lunges at Angelique, choking her.)

Quentin:  Violence! Violence!

Edward:  Stop that!

(Edward separates them, hurling them both to the floor.)

Kitty:  All right… very quiet now. We’ll all be… very quiet.

Angelique:  (gasping for breath) Murderer!

Edward:  Okay, that’s enough!

(Roadhouse Manager enters.)

Manager:  All right, what’s the trouble in here?

Edward:  Ah, nothing. No trouble. Just — playing a game.

852 dark shadows edward kitty quentin

Kitty:  What happened?

Quentin:  Don’t you remember?

Kitty:  I — I remember being in the woods, and I was — I was terribly frightened. Someone was watching me!

Quentin:  You accused Angelique of watching you.

Kitty:  Angelique?

Edward:  Quentin’s fiancee. I was introducing you, and you tried to strangle her.

Kitty:  I tried to strangle her? I can’t believe it!

Edward:  Well, there are other games we could play. We’re through with Humiliate the Host, and we don’t want to play Hump the Hostess yet, so I know what we’ll do. How about a little round of Get the Guests? How about that?

852 dark shadows angelique quentin hate

Quentin:  I think I know why she did that.

Angelique:  Oh, you do.

Quentin:  Mm hmm.

Angelique:  Why?

Quentin:  The hate I feel for you was somehow transferred to her mind, and she suddenly hated you enough to kill you.

Angelique:  What an interesting theory.

852 dark shadows angelique quentin force

Angelique:  Quentin?

Quentin:  Yes, love?

Angelique:  Why didn’t you want to kiss me?

Quentin:  Well, dear, if I kissed you, I’d get all excited. I’d get beside myself, and then I’d have to take you by force, right here on the living room rug, and our little guests would walk in, and then what would your father say about that?

852 dark shadows quentin angelique brandy

Angelique:  I would like a brandy.

Quentin:  God, you can swill it down, can’t you?

Angelique:  Please. After all, I’m still a little shaken from my close encounter with death.

Quentin:  Too bad she didn’t succeed! I’d be free.

Angelique:  Well, she didn’t. And you might as well face the fact that you’ll never be free. So learn to love your jailer.

(Quentin hands her the drink.)

Angelique:  Thank you. Just one more thing. The wedding. Any time this week will be fine.

Quentin:  A week from tonight, then. That’ll put it off as long as possible.

Angelique:  I swear, if you existed, I’d divorce you.

852 dark shadows kitty edward flop

Kitty:  Edward, ever since I’ve come to Collinwood, I’ve been saying and doing things that I simply don’t understand. Perhaps it would be best if I went away.

Edward:  You mustn’t, Kitty!

Kitty:  Oh, Edward, I cannot go on like this.

(He smirks.)

Kitty:  You’re no better than anybody else.

Edward:  I think I am.

Kitty:  Well, you’re certainly a flop in some departments.

Edward:  What’d you say?

Kitty:  I said, you certainly are a flop in some departments!

Edward:  Boy, you’re something. You know that? I mean, you’re really something. You know, to you, everybody’s a flop. Your husband’s a flop, I’m a flop —

Kitty:  You’re all flops. I am the earth mother, and you are all flops.

852 dark shadows quentin angelique wedding

Angelique:  Then we’ll have an informal ceremony. It’s a shame it has to be such a small wedding. I’ll be a beautiful bride.

Quentin:  And I’ll be a miserable, unhappy groom!

Angelique:  Oh, Quentin… why must you throw away your love on that nobody? A mousy little type, without any hips or anything.

852 dark shadows edward quentin furious

Edward:  I don’t like the way you treat that girl! I don’t understand your attitude about your marriage.

Quentin:  My attitude is my concern, not yours!

Edward:  That girl has suffered enough because of this family. I don’t want her to suffer any more!

Quentin:  What do you mean?

Edward:  If you recall — she was victimized by Barnabas Collins!

Quentin:  Oh, that’s right.

Edward:  And she comes home from a hard day at the grocery store…

Quentin:  She works in a grocery store?

Edward:  She’s a housewife. She buys things. And she comes home with the groceries, and she walks into the modest living room of the modest cottage Joseph Cotten has set her up in, and she comes in, and she puts her groceries down, and she says, “What a dump!”

Quentin:  Oh.

Edward:  She’s discontent.

Quentin:  Oh.

Edward:  Well, what’s the name of the picture?

Tomorrow: Head Games.

Dark Shadows bloopers to watch out for:

When Kitty approaches Edward in the drawing room, some mist from the train station set is blowing in from the left.

Angelique asks, “Quentin, must you… why must you throw away your love on that nobody?”

Edward reminds Quentin that Angelique was victimized by Barnabas, and Quentin snarls, “Oh, that’s right. So — so diz, huh? Well, brother, may that be as it is.”

In the dream, Kitty/Josette says that the poem is beautiful. As the camera pulls in on Angelique, you can hear Kitty turn and run back to her bedroom set.

Following the dream, when Kitty reaches out to pick up the book, a fly lands on her hand.

Tomorrow: Head Games.

852 dark shadows bette davis

Dark Shadows episode guide

— Danny Horn

21 thoughts on “Episode 852: Who’s Afraid of Violet Welles?

  1. That was hilarious!

    It’s pretty fascinating how easily Violet Wells dialogue can dove tail right into Edward Albee dialogue.

  2. Great post. I interviewed Mike Nichols a couple of times, and he told me that his first choice to play Martha was Bette Davis. She fit the character description–age, looks–far better than Elizabeth Taylor, who was still young and beautiful then. I asked if he would have changed Albee’s opening line in that case, and Nichols said no. So how cool it would have been if Bette Davis as Martha had asked George (played by James Mason in this original casting concept) the name of the Bette Davis movie where she says “what a dump!” We would have had Bette Davis doing a Bette Davis imitation. In some parallel time, that happened.

  3. Very amusing

    If only there had a been a great big giant shotgun for Quentin draw on Angelique after sneaking up on her, on the sofa. Or are they the guests, and Edward and Kitty are George and Martha? I haven’t seen Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Werewoolf, for a while.

    Maybe, instead of an “imaginary son”, Quentin might have the fantasy that Jamison is his son, and not Edward’s, because Quentin’s actual son is dead. Quentin gets drunk and imagines he’s the father, and Edward tolerates it, because he feels sorry for Quentin.

    1. It’s conceivable (no pun intended) that Jamison IS Quentin’s son, which would mean a big surprise for David Collins on his 21st birthday – unless David is Burke Devlin’s son, which is also conceivable. We may need a bigger flowchart, as the Doctor would say.

    2. I mixed up the roles a bit; everybody gets to be George and Martha at some point. I love that this episode is two unhappy couples — socializing, drinking, insulting, manipulating, strangling and saying terrible things about marriage. I would have liked a shotgun scene too.

    1. There’s a special something when KLS eyelids open that wide.
      It’s one of the Kitty things that make her my favorite KLS character.
      Josette on steroids.

  4. Violet Welles was a hot genius. We always thought Gordon Russell wrote the best scripts on the series. That was before we found out that half the scripts with his byline, OR MORE, were actually written by her.

    1. I have read a source (perhaps here in this blog) stating that Violet Wells had a hand in ghostwriting every single thing Gordon Russell had ever written for the show. It turned out that the two were a complementary team, each reinforcing the shortcomings of the other: Gordon was apparently great at crafting overall story elements and movement of plot but weak with dialogue, whereas it was just the opposite with Violet.

      1. She often just plain wrote the scripts he was credited with. The plotting was often hammered out in these excruciatingly prolonged sessions with Curtis putting the golfball around the room…

        1. In the interview that I posted a while back, she did say that she ghost-wrote some of his scripts, but I don’t think it was as many as you’re suggesting. There’s a clear difference between Violet’s dialogue and Gordon’s, and I don’t recall a lot of episodes before Violet officially joined the team where Gordon’s dialogue is especially sparkling. I’m sure if you watch closely, you might be able to catch some, but I didn’t notice any standout examples as I was going through that period.

          1. I have a suspicion that Violet Welles rather than Sam Hall was responsible for the dialogue between Tony Peterson and Julia Hoffman in Tony’s first episode, 357. You speculated that it was Sam Hall, which is understandable, but I like Violet for it.

  5. Was that a Dr Seward who rang Edward? From the asylum where Judith is staying? Next door to Carfax Abbey?

    And then Kitty tries to strangle Angelique! Now, that’s entertainment! For one brief moment “Josette” gets to see Angelique, and know who she really is, and what she did. The look on Kathryn Leigh-Scott’s face.

    Imagine how much fun it would have been if Edward and Quentin were not there to tear them apart. I actually think Kitty might have thoroughly strangled Angelique, before she had a chance to cast a spell.

    I’m not sure, but I think I just noticed something I might have missed, after all this time. As much as I love the 1897 story, the one thing that always sort of bothered me was how it ends for Kitty/Josette and Barnabas, being sucked into the paintings, and another hundred years into the past.
    The whole thing didn’t seem to make as much sense as it should have, but today’s episode, and its ending dream sequence may have been what I overlooked. Sort of like when Petofi stepped in, to stop Beth from shooting Quentin. Now, Edward and Kitty might have become a couple, but Angelique is stepping in, to change things.

    With this dream sequence, she is laying a trap that leads back in time. Maybe Angelique wants to re-live that night, and maybe since Kitty tried to strangle her, she wants to see her go off Widow’s Hill, one more time, for old time’s sake.
    I guess I used to see some of the up-coming events as somewhat random, but with the idea that Angelique is making things happen, it makes more sense. Maybe.

  6. The Collinsport Fly pesters KLS even more than you say. Just before it lands on her hand, it lands on her face. She has her hands over her face, so it might not be easy to see.

    1. The Collinsport Fly deserved a credit in the closing sequence. I like to think the fly was specifically sent to pester (or spy on) Kitty by my gal Angelique.

  7. KLS is great as a pseudo-villain, the answer to the question “What if Josette had had a personality?”

    “So – so diz, huh?” You think Edward Albee could write dialogue like that? Hell no.

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