Episode 790: A Tale Told

“I’m merely wondering if there’s something in you that reaches out towards unnatural creatures.”

HAMLET
The time is out of joint — O cursed spite,
That ever I was born to set it right!

704 dark shadows barnabas quentin swordplay

HAMLET
Angels and ministers of grace defend us!
Be thou a spirit of health or goblin damn’d,
Bring with thee airs from heaven or blasts from hell,
Be thy intents wicked or charitable,
Thou comest in such a questionable shape
That I will speak to thee.

719 dark shadows magda quentin two days

BANQUO
If you can look into the seeds of time,
And say which grain will grow and which will not,
Speak then to me, who neither beg nor fear
Your favours nor your hate.

717 dark shadows jenny staring

MACBETH
Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?

790 dark shadows magda potion

FIRST WITCH
Round about the cauldron go;
In the poison’d entrails throw.
Toad, that under cold stone
Days and nights has thirty-one
Swelter’d venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot.

766 dark shadows werewolf magda

GHOST
Murder most foul, as in the best it is;
But this most foul, strange and unnatural.

752 dark shadows beth quentin shirtless

EDMUND
This is the excellent foppery of the world, that,
when we are sick in fortune, — often the surfeit
of our behavior, — we make guilty of our
disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars: as
if we were villains by necessity; fools by
heavenly compulsion; knaves, thieves, and
treachers, by spherical predominance; drunkards,
liars, and adulterers, by an enforced obdience of
planetary influence; and all that we are evil in,
by a divine thrusting on: an admirable evasion
of whoremaster man, to lay his goatish
disposition to the charge of a star!

776 dark shadows dirk staked

MACBETH
It will have blood; they say, blood will have blood:
Stones have been known to move and trees to speak;
Augurs and understood relations have
By magot-pies and choughs and rooks brought forth
The secret’st man of blood.

787 dark shadows edward police barnabas

HAMLET
What may this mean,
That thou, dead corse, again in complete steel
Revisit’st thus the glimpses of the moon,
Making night hideous; and we fools of nature
So horridly to shake our disposition
With thoughts beyond the reaches of our souls?
Say, why is this? wherefore? what should we do?

739 dark shadows judith trask money

GHOST
With witchcraft of his wit, with traitorous gifts,–
O wicked wit and gifts, that have the power
So to seduce!–won to his shameful lust
The will of my most seeming-virtuous queen:

784 dark shadows judith trask secret

HAMLET
Thrift, thrift, Horatio! the funeral baked meats
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables
Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
Or ever I had seen that day, Horatio!

789 dark shadows evan trask mind

LADY MACBETH
Art thou afeard
To be the same in thine own act and valour
As thou art in desire? Wouldst thou have that
Which thou esteem’st the ornament of life,
And live a coward in thine own esteem,
Letting ‘I dare not’ wait upon ‘I would,’
Like the poor cat i’ the adage?

789 dark shadows minerva judith black ghost

MACBETH
Avaunt! and quit my sight! let the earth hide thee!
Thy bones are marrowless, thy blood is cold;
Thou hast no speculation in those eyes
Which thou dost glare with!

783 dark shadows magda barnabas afraid

MACBETH
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death.

790 dark shadows quentin jail

MACBETH
Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Monday: Sign the Paper.


Dark Shadows bloopers to watch out for:

When Trask tells Magda, “It’s none of your business,” someone in the studio coughs. They cough again at the end of the scene.

In the last scene, Quentin sits by the gramophone and recites the lyrics to his hit single, “Shadows of the Night (Quentin’s Theme)”. The mic comes in too late to pick up the first line of the song.


Behind the Scenes:

The policeman is played by Robert Warlock, in his only appearance on the show. He also appeared in the 1967 film The Producers, where he was the audience member who first starts applauding after “Springtime For Hitler”.

Monday: Sign the Paper.

743 dark shadows barnabas quentin candles

;Dark Shadows episode guide

— Danny Horn

9 thoughts on “Episode 790: A Tale Told

  1. As an even bigger fan of Shakespeare than I am of Dark Shadows, I truly appreciate your entry today, Danny. (Not that I don’t always appreciate them!)

  2. I’ve used Dark Shadows characters as hooks to hang my interpretations of Shakespeare characters on in both Macbeth and Julius Caesar. it’s worked out really well.

  3. Off, off commercial!
    Sheriff’s a talking shadow, a day player
    That speaks and plays half hours upon the screen
    And then is seen no more: it is a tale
    Told by a producer, full of sound and effects,
    Signifying ratings.

        1. Til the last syllable of recorded time.

          Out, out! Stage candle!!

          It is a tale, told by Dan Curtis, and is told forevermore.

  4. The cough heard is actually Grayson Hall–you can see her do it the first time, and she coughs again on her exit from the scene.

  5. In episode 787, Barnabas puts a whammy on the policeman to make him obey; in today’s show, he neck bites the officer on duty. Why? It makes it obvious that Quentin had help in getting out of the cell, and that the help came from the local vampire. (I suppose that now he has a blood slave in the police force; handy for next time he gets a parking ticket.)

    Even for Barnabas, this is poorly planned.

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