“It was just me. I was pretending to laugh like a man.”
Dark Shadows lost one of their writers a couple weeks ago; I may have mentioned that before. Don’t worry, he wasn’t one of the good ones.
There’s a new writer who’s going to join the team in March, but meanwhile there are a couple extra scripts that need writing. They need a fill-in writer for the next two episodes, so Gordon Russell calls Ralph Ellis, who wrote ABC soap A Flame in the Wind with Gordon from 1964 to ’66.
Ralph is just at the beginning of a long and successful career as a soap opera writer. Pretty soon, he’s going to join NBC’s Another World, and then CBS’ Search For Tomorrow, and eventually he’ll be a head writer for The Doctors, As the World Turns, Loving, and General Hospital.
Right now, he’s doing a couple days on this weird little haunted house show. Let’s see what he comes up with.
Maggie: David, Quentin is real, isn’t he? He’s somewhere in this house. It’s the man I saw that night, isn’t it?
Chris: If you’re out to get me, I wish you’d be more direct about it than you were the other night.
Maggie: David, I know what I can see, but I also know what I heard, and I heard a man’s laughter. Now, please tell me.
David: It was really just me! I was pretending to laugh like a man.
Maggie: My god, David — what kind of a monster is he? What has he done to you?
Amy: Boys just don’t like jigsaw puzzles.
Ned: You know, Amy, I sort of have a puzzle too, and I’m just trying to put it together.
Ned: Does he give you the slip about once a day?
Maggie: That isn’t funny, Mr. Stuart.
Ned: I know what it’s like to love a sister.
Amy: Oh, David — what are we going to do?
David: I don’t know.
David: But there’s —
Amy: Well, we can’t stay out here, because… well, it’s just stupid.
Chris: Then it wasn’t you who poisoned me.
Amy: Does that scare you, Maggie?
Amy: Come out into the hall, Maggie. There’s someone we want you to meet.
Amy: Come on out, Maggie. He won’t hurt you.
Monday: The Bechdel Test.
Dark Shadows bloopers to watch out for:
One of the cameras is crooked today; the scenes in the drawing room, David’s room and the study look like everything’s leaning to the left.
When David runs out of his room, he leaves his robe on the bed. In the next scene, when he runs past Ned, he’s wearing his robe.
Maggie misses a word when she questions Ned in the foyer: “Where did you see him? Go?”
Amy tells Ned, “I think I’d better go help David find Maggie.” She means help Maggie find David.
The scene fades with Ned holding Chris’ lapels. The fade is slower than expected, and you can see Ned loosen his grip and say something to Chris as the next scene fades in.
In the woods, when David says to Amy, “You don’t want to do that, do you?” you can see someone passing behind him — Quentin, getting into position for an upcoming shot.
In act 3, when Maggie comes into the drawing room, you can clearly see a stagehand standing on the right side of the screen, just next to the desk. The camera moves away quickly.
Monday: The Bechdel Test.
— Danny Horn