Episode 784: Things People Say When They’ve Run Out of Sensible Things to Say

“How mad the world has become.”

Well, your psychic abilities seem to have failed you!

784 dark shadows barnabas magda hole

I will dig a hole, in the woods. He will never find it.

784 dark shadows magda cleverly

But you have lived so cleverly, for so many centuries.

784 dark shadows magda barnabas mine

This hand, it is not my mind, my words that make it do what it does.

784 dark shadows magda world

Somewhere in this world, or in another, somewhere — he is. And this hand does what he wants it to do.

784 dark shadows petofi hand

This hand, cut from his arm for a payment.

784 barnabas stop

This hand cannot stop from doing what he wants.

784 dark shadows magda deny

My people have done that to him. It is the only thing that the Hand can deny him.

784 dark shadows magda barnabas lamp

How mad the world has become. That my future, and David’s, and Chris Jennings’, all depend upon a man we’ve never known.

784 dark shadows magda bad thing

You got to help us. You got to save us! I was bad, I did something wrong. Yes, I put a curse on my own kin. And now, this man, he will make the curse stay, unless you help us!

784 dark shadows magda evan barnabas evil

You forget that this hand belonged to the most evil man in the world.

784 dark shadows magda evan dare

All right, look at it — if you dare!

784 dark shadows evan handley

So I am to be impaled by a pin, and put under a microscope.

784 dark shadows barnabas magda cannot

We cannot use the Hand on Quentin. We cannot take that chance!

784 dark shadows evan handed

My god. Evan Hanley!

Tomorrow: We Interrupt This Program.

Dark Shadows bloopers to watch out for:

There’s a choppy tape edit right at the start of the episode, which cuts about two seconds out of the reprise.

In act 2, during the transition between the Collinwood scene and the cave scene, someone in the studio has a coughing fit.

You can see the boom mic in the cave four times between acts 2 and 3. #1: After Barnabas says his “How mad the world has become” line, Magda passes her hands over the box. For a split-second, you can see the boom mic enter at the upper left corner, before they cut to another shot. #2:  About forty seconds later, as Evan enters the cave. #3: When Evan orders Barnabas to leave the cave. #4: When Barnabas rushes back into the cave.

Tomorrow: We Interrupt This Program.

784 dark shadows evan shmevan

Dark Shadows episode guide

— Danny Horn

11 thoughts on “Episode 784: Things People Say When They’ve Run Out of Sensible Things to Say

  1. That protruding eye on poor Even reminds me of those horror comics by the company called Eerie Publishing. It was one of their semi-comical trademarks (or the trademark of one particular artist, evidently) that no matter HOW a character was killed, he’d almost always end up with a protruding eye.

  2. Two things: The “cave” is a wonder of implied space and texture. Most likely some kind of craft paper applied to a mesh and stick lumber frame, the tech crew probably reworked parts of the “base of Widow’s Hill” set, from episode 506. Second, the Evan Hanley Doppelganger Dummy of Doooom!!! Vinnie Loscalzo must have worked on that all night, plus having to create a similar latex appliance for Humbert Astredo’s face! I remember being scared witless by “what the hand wrought” on Evan’s face.

    1. In one of my visits inside the studio, I actually spent some time examining the cave. And you are exactly correct about its construction, although I don’t know if it was originally part of the Widow’s Hill set.

      I have a great picture of myself standing next to the coffin in the cave, holding my bag lunch, which probably contained a tuna fish sandwich, in my left hand.

  3. I don’t remember when, or where I read this, but I figure I should mention it, before he appears, just in case: I read that Count Petofi is at least loosely based on the Count of St. Germain, (1712-1784).
    The count was a mystery man, with a magical reputation who had people believing that he had lived an incredibly long time. He was full of secrets.
    Petofi lived to be at least 150. He was full of…

  4. The old “protruding eye” gag again. As soon as I saw the “post-Hand” Evan makeover, I thought about the similar looking “protruding eye” Josette makeup.

    It does remind one of old EC comics, but I’m also reminded of the reader’s letters (“wanted: more readers like…”) section of “Famous Monsters of Filmland” magazine. The great thing about the protruding eye school of fx is that it can be done by kids and tv producers on a tight budget.

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