Episode 396: Dialogue of the Dead

“I do not need you now! Can’t you understand? Go back to your grave!”

Last week, Angelique needed yet another stick to hit her rival Josette with, so she called poor dead Jeremiah from his grave, and sent him off to haunt his widow. Now, he’s showing up at the house when Angelique doesn’t want him, like a stray cat that somebody fed once, and now it comes by every day to beg for scraps.

The witch tries to send Jeremiah away, saying that she doesn’t need him now. But he just laughs, and stumbles toward her.

Which brings us to today’s topic: How does “the dead” work?

396 dark shadows rest angelique jeremiah

Because it’s not exactly clear what Angelique has unearthed here. This entity is supposed to be Jeremiah Collins, and at first glance, you can see the resemblance. He’s wearing Jeremiah’s weird embroidered leaves jacket, and there can’t be many of those in circulation.

What we can see of his face doesn’t look a lot like Jeremiah — but Jeremiah looks like Burke, and we know that Burke changes his face occasionally, so it’s not completely out of character.

Plus, we saw this guy climb out of Jeremiah’s grave — or, at least, Jerimiah’s grave, which is practically the same thing — so I’m ready to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and say, okay, that’s Jeremiah’s corpse. I’ve seen worse recasts than this.

396 dark shadows leaf angelique jeremiah

The problem is, he doesn’t sound like Jeremiah. And I’m not talking about his voice, which has a deep, scratchy reverb that makes it sound like he’s announcing train delays on a New York subway platform.

What I mean is, he doesn’t say the kind of things that Jeremiah would say. Jeremiah was a gentle and thoughtful man. Even when he was under Angelique’s spell and believed that he loved Josette, his basic personality didn’t change — he was the same guy, just making new, worse choices.

384 dark shadows jeremiah power

And here he is at the duel, closing his eyes and spending his last moment in forgiveness and love, refusing to harm Barnabas any further.

We know that on Dark Shadows, a personality can persist after death. We’ve seen Sarah’s ghost in 1967, and she’s the same sweet kid. And if personality didn’t last after death, then what would be the point of a ghost? What is a spirit, if not the embodied personality of the dead man?

396 dark shadows control jeremiah

Last week, Jeremiah — or whatever this is — had an excuse for acting out of character when Angelique woke him up and sent him off to pursue Josette. He was under the witch’s control, doing her bidding.

But now he’s off the leash, showing up and menacing Angelique during his time off. I’m not sure where Angelique thinks he should go during these rest periods — he might as well take up smoking in the break room, it’s not going to do him any more harm than a bullet in the face — but she definitely doesn’t want him following her around, glaring and chuckling. He’s being animated by something else, and we’re supposed to believe that that “something else” is named Jeremiah Collins.

I know it’s the understatement of the century, but I think there’s something slightly off about this guy.

396 dark shadows wedding dress angelique

I mean, I get that he has a legitimate grievance. Angelique set this tragedy in motion, casting a spell that made Josette and Jeremiah fall in love and run away together, breaking Barnabas’ heart. And now, through a combination of treacherous sorcery and sorcerous treachery, she’s cornered Barnabas into marrying her.

So, yeah, if Jeremiah’s unquiet spirit pokes its head through the wall and sees Angelique twirling in front of the mirror like Wedding Dress Barbie, he’ll probably be upset. I could see him rolling his eyes, at least.

396 dark shadows blood angelique

But how annoyed would you have to be, to come up with something like this? She looks in the mirror, and sees her white wedding dress spattered with blood.

Metaphorically, it totally works — she’s definitely got blood on her hands, and lots of it. But this doesn’t feel like a thing that Jeremiah would do.

It’s the kind of middle-school “mean girls” logic that inspires you to send someone a human skull wearing a wig as a wedding present. This is how she thinks.

396 dark shadows doll barnabas angelique

Desperate to get away, Angelique starts packing her clothes up in a suitcase, and she tells Barnabas she wants to get married somewhere else. But when Barnabas looks in the suitcase, he finds Sarah’s doll, and some pins — the tools Angelique used to make Sarah sick a couple weeks ago.

This is also a total Angelique move; she loves giving people little ironic passive-aggressive clues like this. It’s not like Barnabas is going to look at these and say, Aha, now I realize that you’ve been practicing voodoo on my relatives. It’s just there to rattle Angelique’s cage a bit more.

Again, this isn’t Jeremiah’s style; it’s hers. I think Angelique is haunting herself.

396 dark shadows unquiet jeremiah angelique

Finally, the revenant prankster stops beating around the bush, and gets down to business. What follows is an extremely Dark Shadows-y conversation.

Angelique:  What do you want? Why are you haunting me?

Jeremiah:  You summoned me.

Angelique:  No, I did not summon you, and I do not want you here!

Jeremiah:  You summoned me!

Angelique:  No!

Jeremiah:  You summoned me from my grave!

This happens when you talk to spirits; they tend to get stuck on one idea, and they can’t let it go.

396 dark shadows rest jeremiah
So we get several variations on the theme of “disturbing my rest”.

Jeremiah:  You disturbed my rest!

Angelique:  That was before; I needed you to do my bidding.

Jeremiah:  You robbed me of my rest! I was at peace until you called to me!

Angelique:  I do not need you now! Can’t you understand? Go back to your grave!

Jeremiah:  Not now! My rest has been disturbed! By you!

Okay, we get it. She disturbed your rest. Your rest has been disturbed by her. Disturbed is what she did, and your rest is what she did it to.

396 dark shadows disturbed angelique

And then the conversation takes a weird turn.

Jeremiah:  You brought me back from the land of the dead, and you must be punished!

Angelique:  Punished?

Jeremiah:  For disturbing the dead! Those who disturb the dead must be punished!

Which is very strange. I mean, it makes sense if you figure that this is a manifestation of Angelique’s unconscious guilt about the confusion, heartbreak and carnage that she’s brought to the Collins family. Deep down, she may believe that she deserves to be exposed and punished.

But if this is actually supposed to be Jeremiah — sweet, forgiving Jeremiah — then it’s just not him.

396 dark shadows tore up jeremiah angelique

Because this is a deeply odd thing to do. He screams, “You must learn what it is to live in the land of the dead, and know no peace!” And then he picks her up, and carries her to his open grave.

And that’s just setting a bad precedent. If he buries her alive — which he then attempts to do — then how does that help his situation, exactly? For one thing, if he kills her, then there’s a good chance that she’ll become a walking ghost-thing and haunt him right back. I’m not sure this is a game that anybody wins.

Plus, the whole problem that he’s complaining about is that she called him up and disturbed his rest. Once his vengeance is complete, and he’s ready to return to his grave… there’s no more room, dummy. Ocupado. Now what?

396 dark shadows smash jeremiah angelique

But the really strange thing about this haunting is that he’s focusing entirely on the rest-disturbance, rather than any of the crimes that actually led to him being in the grave in the first place.

Technically, I can see how that would feel like the presenting issue at the moment, but is raising his corpse really the worst thing that she’s done? I don’t think it’s in the top five.

She did a lot of stuff that put him in the ground; that’s the main set of crimes that he should be addressing. Compared to that, calling him from the grave is just bad manners.

It’s kind of like if somebody steals your car and crashes it into a tree, and the thing you’re really upset about is that he messed with the radio presets. You’re not looking at the big picture.

396 dark shadows grave jeremiah

But this rant sounds familiar. Have we ever met anyone who goes on and on about disturbing the dead, and leaving them in peace?

Of course — the caretaker! The crazy old man from the Eagle Hill cemetery, who tells everyone that the dead need to rest. I bet if we could snatch the bandages off this guy’s face, we’d find out he was the caretaker the whole time. And he would’ve gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!

Tomorrow: Lord of the Flies.

Dark Shadows bloopers to watch out for:

When Barnabas finds Sarah’s doll, he asks Angelique, “What’s it doing in her suitcase?” He means “your suitcase.”

Behind the Scenes:

That’s a double for Angelique when Jeremiah’s ghost is carrying her to his grave, played by fill-in actor Arlene Sand. I can’t find a single other piece of information about Ms. Sand; she is otherwise unGoogleable.

The scene of Angelique seeing a bloody wedding dress in the mirror is an unusual effect for Dark Shadows in this period — a pre-recorded film segment, played in live while they were taping. Angelique reacts silently during that sequence, mouthing “no”, because Lara Parker couldn’t tell when the pre-recorded clip started and ended, and they wouldn’t be able to sync the words with her mouth moving.

Paul Kirk Giles plays Reverend Bland in this episode and tomorrow’s. Giles appeared a few weeks ago playing Reverend Brook, the minister who was supposed to officiate at Barnabas and Josette’s aborted wedding. My guess is that these aren’t necessarily supposed to be different characters — they probably didn’t really expect that the audience would pay much attention to the minister’s names.

Also, there’s a video clip on YouTube from a Dark Shadows convention panel, where Lara Parker (Angelique) explains the Dark Shadows acting style. She uses the sentence “Go back to your grave!” as the example, so it’s a perfect description of what she does in today’s episode. It’s only a minute long, and it’s one of the great convention moments, so go take a look.

Tomorrow: Lord of the Flies.

396 dark shadows bury jeremiah

Dark Shadows episode guide

— Danny Horn

32 thoughts on “Episode 396: Dialogue of the Dead

  1. I know it doesn’t make much sense but it is nice to see Angelique get some payback, even if it is brief and then conveniently forgotten yet again. So you don’t mention it in your summary but do you think this is another example of Ron Sproat going off on his own tangent with the material?

    1. Hooray, my plan is working — you’re treating Sproat scripts with suspicion. 🙂 There is a problem here, as in many Sproat scripts, with dialogue that’s purely functional.

      But I think the biggest factor is actually Anthony George leaving, and using a stand-in wearing a scary mask as Jeremiah. If the actual Jeremiah was standing there, they wouldn’t have written this default “you must be punished” stuff for him to say.

  2. I didn’t like the idea of using Anthony George (whom viewers had known as Burke Devlin). It seemed off kilter to see him with Josette/Maggie instead of doing a reincarnation/lovers across time story with Vicki. I think this would have worked much better than the awful Vicki/1795 Peter Bradford/1967 Jeff Clark pairing. It’s a shame David Selby wasn’t on the show at that time – he would have made a much better Jeremiah. Also it would have been great to have Humbert Allen Astredo (Nicolas Blair) in this story as it would have been a fantastic idea to have him giving ‘payback’ to Angelique in the form of raising the dead Jeremiah to terrorize her.

  3. In all fairness to the living dead, though: Have you ever been woken up by some jerk who needed something at 3 am, and then you just can’t go back to sleep? You can be the sweetest, most forgiving person who ever lived, but dangit, “You have disturbed my rest!” Sticking them in your own bed and making them go to sleep just so YOU can wake THEM up actually seems to make sense at that point.

  4. It hasn’t been that long between Angelique being tormented by Jeremiah pizza face and Julia’s haunting by Dave (via Barnabas). Both haunting figures repeat themselves ad nausium while the actresses scream a good deal, on many different sets.

  5. Just how well trained was Angelique in necromancy? I recall thinking the first time I watched this that she was a dabbler who got in over her head.

    1. I agree, whatever magical abilities Angelique had in Martinique, they were magnified and randomized once she reached the Collins estate. There she was thinking she had a magical lapdog at her command but as soon as she set it loose in she found herself with a kennel’s worth of much larger and less predictable forces. Everything she does goes richoting around in the metaphysical pinball machine that is Collinswood. Instead of ducking and running for cover, she probably likes the increase in power. I’d say she was unkind, arrogant and selfish enough to keep playing pinball. However, in the era of #MeToo I will instead say she was focused, determined, and displayed natural leadership, choosing to empower herself despite being a woman in a patriarchal and racist society.

      The “disturbed my rest” thing … it is something that was a common way of thinking about the dead up until more recent decades. The short version is that the dead slumbered, waiting for the time when the angel Gabriel blows his horn and the dead arise to everlasting paradise or damnation, as the case may be. (That’s more of a New Testament take on it.)

      The Old Testament take is that the all the dead exist in Shaol. When a medium is hired to call up the spirit of King Saul, he is cranky about it and complains about being disturbed. This fits the general concept of many cultures that the dead consciously exist in an underworld, but their conscious experience is quieter than incarnate life was.

  6. Whatever the issue with Jeremiah’s behavior, I got immense enjoyment watching this whole scheme run off the rails and be on the receiving end of some supernatural unhappiness.

  7. Big cranial bandage, tendency to labour a point through mildly-rephrased repetition… Angelique’s being haunted by Mojo Jojo.

  8. I noticed differences between the end of yesterday’s episode and the reprise of it at the start of today’s. Aside from the elaboration of Angelique’s protestations and Jeremiah’s accusations and threats, I noticed that while yesterday Angelique commanded Jeremiah to go back and “rest in peace,” today she only commanded him to go back and rest. Could it be that somebody – possibly even the otherwise insensitive Mr. Sproat – realized that “in peace” was the wrong phrase for the insensitive Angelique to use or hope for?

    As soon as the door closed so that Angelique could not get out of her room, I said “Ron Sproat is behind this.” Sure enough. Yesterday I guessed that the episode was by Gordon Russell, but I was not as sure of that as I was that today’s was by Sproat. Woman locked in a room. Soon to be trapped in a grave. That’s your cliff hanger for the day?

    “I know it’s the understatement of the century, but I think there’s something slightly off about this guy.”
    Did you get a whiff of him through the screen too?
    “I could see him rolling his eyes, at least.”
    Actually, he can roll one eye, the other he does yoyo tricks with.

  9. Hilarious yet perceptive recap. 👍

    Great acting job by Parker. Her dread, when slowly turning away from the locked door, is palpable. The screams as dirt is thrown on her are blood curdling.

  10. There is an odd feeling about this handful of episodes with the “ghost of Jeremiah” still roaming the Earth. They just feel so hackneyed and amateurish that it definitely has the feel of “filler” material while most of the cast seems to be away on holiday vacation. (When is David returning btw?)

    The biggest problem continues to be the fact that the “ghost” looks nothing like AG physically and nor does the ghost voice even remotely sound like him. Just seems like they would have wanted to turn the page and move on once the character is deceased.

    Still, all involved give it their all, including Lara Parker who is having to react and scream and do things that are traditionally difficult against fictional ghost and other existential threats that are appearing before her. I think it would be a welcome return to have the story line settle down for a few weeks in something that’s not so late night Cool Ghoul Movie Theatre.

    This would be a great plot to pursue around Halloween or so. Seems again so DS unique that they are ushering in the New Year with something so different than what the neighboring soaps are certainly offering.

    The bloody wedding dress reverse shot though is certainly breathtaking. That was definitely the high point of the episode.

  11. The scratchy voice of Jeremiah the Ghost reminded me of something and today I was finally able to pinpoint it. He sounds just like my G.I. Joe Talking Astronaut from 1969.

    1. LOL. A talking Astronaut G.I. Joe was what I got for Christmas one year instead of the much cooler Major Matt Mason toys that I wanted, like those that David Collins has in his bedroom in 1967, the lucky little bastard.

      I was a few weeks away from turning five years old when this episode originally aired and it’s probably a good thing I didn’t see it then or I’d likely have had major anxiety about the returned dead snatching me from my bed and dragging me to the graveyard to be buried alive. It would have gone right along with my firm belief at the time that vampires and werewolves and walking, malevolent Egyptian mummies were real and would surely come for me on the very first night that I was careless enough to fall sleep in a totally dark room. As near as I can recall, it was a little later, sometime during the 1968 post-1795/Dr. Lang episodes, that I first saw DS, and I watched it occasionally until the end of the series. I was never a regular, daily viewer, because it came on at the same time as the afternoon movie on another channel, which showed lots of cheapies and classics in the film noir, horror, and science fiction genres, along with interesting adult dramas like Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, and Breakfast At Tiffiany’s, and The Last Picture Show, films that I watched again and again, anytime they were shown. I consider those daily afternoon movies a major part of my education growing up, seemingly more informative and useful for my later adult life than much of what of what I concurrently encountered in my school’s curriculum. I was really too young to fully appreciate DS then, aside from the thrilling horror moments, such as Barnabas preparing to bite someone, which is my most vivid memory from what I saw at the time. But here’s me today, grown up and unafraid of a dark room, with an adult sensibility and an active appreciation for the absurd both in life and in art, more than ready for the groovy insanity that is DS.

      My name is Boom Boom, and I am on a strange and fascinating journey into the past. Back to the year 1967, where each day I see what I missed at the time, and then read this marvelous blog afterwards.

  12. I totally agree with Danny that Jeremiah’s sounding like something out of HBO’s TALES FROM THE CRYPT rather than the thoughtful man that Anthony George had played creates a giant disconnect (at least for me). This whole scenario seems contrived and phony, mainly because there’s no logical reason why Angelique’s powers should suddenly fail her and render her incapable of controlling her own creation (shades of FRANKENSTEIN!). Still, kudos, as Barry said, to Lara Parker’s performance. By contrast, Jonathan Frid seems to struggle with his lines more than usual. He must have had an off-day, as this is not one of his smoother performances.

  13. Perhaps this is Jeremiah’s corpse, but not animated by his soul (à la Pet Semetary)?
    Or maybe Jeremiah is just cranky when he’s woken prematurely. Some people are ‘morning people’ and some are NOT.

  14. I remember this episode and the previous from when they originally aired. I know because I remember being very very scared of the Jeremiah Zombie in the Old House menacing Angelique. I was only 6 1/2 watching on small black white TV, but when I remember Dark Shadows, I remember these zombie/ghost scenes, Even though I put a pillow over my face for much of it.

  15. So maybe being dead has given Jeremiah a peek behind the curtain and he sees what Angelique has done to everyone. So when she calls him out of his rest he thinks “Fine, lady, I want a few words with you anyway.”

    Also I can’t even any more with the dresses: off the shoulder is very, very retro and didn’t come back into style until the 1830-1840s. Here’s a video of what a fashionable lady of 1790 wears to a special occasion. And white wedding dresses weren’t a thing until Queen Victoria wore one.

  16. second time through and i just wanted to wax lyrical over how brilliant this particular entry is.

    first, the humour:

    “Plus, we saw this guy climb out of Jeremiah’s grave — or, at least, Jerimiah’s grave, which is practically the same thing — so I’m ready to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and say, okay, that’s Jeremiah’s corpse. I’ve seen worse recasts than this.”

    and then, the philosophy:

    “We know that on Dark Shadows, a personality can persist after death. We’ve seen Sarah’s ghost in 1967, and she’s the same sweet kid. And if personality didn’t last after death, then what would be the point of a ghost? What is a spirit, if not the embodied personality of the dead man?”

    (refulgent) * sigh *

  17. “Okay, we get it. She disturbed your rest. Your rest has been disturbed by her. Disturbed is what she did, and your rest is what she did it to.” Danny, this is hysterical! I know you won’t get this message because you’re off writing about superheroes now, but thanks for the laughs!

    Ok, also, I thought the undead Jeremiah was taking her to his grave to put her IN the grave WITH him. It seems appropriate. He was deprived of his bride, so now he needs a new one in death, Angelique has on a wedding gown, so I thought he was taking her to be his bride in death. And then she could wake up and realize it was all a bad dream. Instead, he just sprinkles some red dirt on the camera lens. Huh.

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