“You know something, doctor? I’ve just decided that I don’t believe you.”
Today on Dark Shadows, we learn what a rich kid does on his day off — he rides on a bus. Carolyn is taking David on a trip into Bangor, and he’s got his heart set on that bus trip. But their plans are interrupted by a visit from Sam and Joe, who have something to discuss with David.
You can tell that it’s important, because Sam uses Dramatic Clarification — a technique where you pretend that you’re being super focused and intense, when really you’re just saying the same thing twice.
So when David asks why Sam needs to talk to him, Sam says, “Well, it’s about something urgent. Something very, very urgent.”
You see, David has a new friend — a mysterious little girl named Sarah, who seems to be connected to Maggie’s abduction. This was discussed in detail in yesterday’s marathon recap session, and apparently it’s urgent — very, very urgent — that we go through it all over again.
David is super chill about the whole thing.
Joe: Since you’re such a good friend of hers, we thought that you’d introduce us to her.
David: Sure, I’ll do that sometime.
Sam: When would that be?
David: Well, the next time I see her.
But that’s not going to be today, because rich boy is about to get on that bus to Bangor. Carolyn offers to postpone the trip so they can help Sam and Joe, but the guys say that’s not necessary. They’ll just go walk around in the woods and hope they bump into a ten-year-old.
So they head off to Chromakey National Forest. This is the second time they’ve used chromakey to pretend that they’re filming outside; the first time, last Friday, was even worse. They’ve managed to avoid casting shadows on the blue screen this time, but they’re still not lighting it properly, so there’s a blue line around all of the foliage. Still, it’s nice to be outdoors.
Sam and Joe hear a squeaking noise, and they follow the sound to a swing, which is rocking back and forth. It’s not a very exciting moment, but Sam spices things up with some more dramatic clarification: “She was here! She was just here!”
They’re near the Old House, so they decide to drop in and see if Barnabas knows anything about the little girl. Joe knocks on the door, and then they have the following exchange.
Sam: What are we going to tell Maggie when we get back?
Joe: Oh, I don’t know. We’ll tell her we made some progress.
Sam: What progress?
Joe: I’ll think of something.
Yes, we’re actually watching the characters discuss how they’re planning to justify wasting the entire episode. Come on, guys, we’re burning daylight.
It turns out that Julia’s at the Old House, and they have the same conversation that Julia has with everybody. They ask questions, and she changes the subject. Sam finally loses his patience, growls at her, and walks away.
Joe: I’m sorry, doctor. He’s upset, and I’m sure he didn’t mean that.
Julia: I understand. But I’d like you to know that I’m doing everything I can.
Joe: I’m sure you are, doctor. Goodbye.
Joe walks away, and Julia gets some dramatic clarification of her own.
Julia: I’m doing everything I can.
It feels like that should be the end of the episode, but it’s not; there’s a whole other scene at Collinwood. David and Carolyn are back from Bangor, and we get an update on everything that David ate on the trip.
For some reason, Julia is putting on her gloves and getting ready to go out again. We just saw her at the Old House in the last scene; apparently she went back to Collinwood and now she’s going out again. Everybody in this episode is just walking in circles.
Carolyn asks Julia about her interest in that strange little girl that everyone is looking for. She understands why Sam and Joe are looking for Sarah, but why was Julia asking questions about her the other day? Julia says that she’s just naturally curious, a typical Julia dodge.
They end the episode with one more dose of dramatic clarification.
Julia: Are there any other questions you’d like to ask?
Carolyn: Not at the moment.
Julia: Well, please feel free to ask.
Carolyn: I will. I definitely will.
Except that’s not the end of the episode. They faked us out again.
Sam and Joe go back to the Evans house, and apparently they’ve been out all night — Maggie’s gone to bed already. It’s not clear what they were doing all this time; maybe they took a bus to Bangor.
Anyway, Maggie wakes up, and guess what she finds by her bed: Sarah’s doll!
Sarah visited the house two weeks ago and took her doll away. Now she’s apparently brought it back. This means that there’s only one thing that actually happened in this episode, and it’s hitting control-Z on Sarah’s doll. Anybody feel like a trip to Bangor?
Tomorrow: The Finger of Suspicion.
Dark Shadows bloopers to watch out for:
Something’s wrong with one of the cameras; there’s a purple line down the left hand side of the screen.
Joe and David step on each other’s lines in the Collinwood scene:
David: She likes to play in the woods. You know, she acts as if it’s her own.
Joe: Well, we could take a —
David: You know what I mean?
Joe: Well, we could take a look around there, Sam.
Outside, Joe tells Sam that he isn’t sure the moving swing means anything: “It could’ve been the wood, the wind, for all I know.”
Tomorrow: The Finger of Suspicion.
— Danny Horn