Category Archives: January 1970

Episode 918: Too Big to Fail

“Something kept you from disobeying the book!”

So we’re killing Julia again, apparently, that’s still a thing that people on Dark Shadows say they’re going to do.

David and Elizabeth are going over their secret evil world domination plans, and they’re doing it in a hallway, for some reason. “Barnabas asked me to remind you,” David says, “that Julia Hoffman is your responsibility.” David is thirteen years old.

She tenses up. David asks, “What are you going to do about her?” and Liz takes a moment to think. Then she says, “KILL her!”

That’s the right answer, so she gets a big closeup and a dramatic sting, followed by the opening titles. That’s how you know that your staff meeting is a success.

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